Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The game

Is he just playing around with my heart or he's genuinely like me. Should i stop now before it gets too dangerous or continue. either way i will lose. I'll wait

Monday, November 29, 2010


Two weeks ago, It was the continuation of what happened with me and Joe. He contacted again, but i wasn't over the moon. We started seeing each other again. He told me he was busy with things that's why he didn't contact me for two months. He had his reasons and it adds up. He was moving houses, and he moved back to his mother's house not far from where i live. When we had coffee together i tested out my heart and i didn't feel something as strong as when i was in the other city with him 2 weeks ago. Maybe i have let him go and move on a little. But deep inside I still like him, he doesn't posses beauty but he has a nice heart, smart, and have a nice smile. Those three are enough for me. But considering our big age differences, we need to work out a lot of things if we actually moving forward together.

he acted like he was really into me when we parted ways after coffee, but i didn't want him to touch me. he stood me up on the day before our meeting. our first meeting after our holiday together was sour. I acted up  a little bit towards him. I teased him a lot and asked a lot of bitter questions and i guess he sorta pass the test. He told me that he hasn't seen anyone else. I bought it. He hasn't been active in Site#F and Site#M for more than 2 months. He also told me that The last time he kissed someone was me, and The last time he had sex with someone was me. We didn't have good sex when we were in holiday. It was lousy. but It was more emotional that our regular sex. After we parted ways, he called me but i didn't hear. I sent him a text "Hey, did you call me last night? what's up? Was it intentional or accidental?" then he replied:"I was gonna call you and wish you good night, have a nice day bub." It was sweet. then he called me a few times, he wanted me to go with him somewhere but i couldn't. i still acted a little bit bitter towards him.

I was with my family during that week, and I felt like i need to get away from them and I was busy nevertheless. I realized that i miss him. I was just walking down from kings cross to the city. I could've taken William st. but i didn't i took darlinghurst rd then liverpool st. at the end of liverpool st, while listening to my ipod at the loudest setting, I heard somebody called my name. I looked around and it was Joe. I didn't expect it at all, it was the weirdest encounter ever.

I met him again the day after that, he wanted me to help him out to re-arrange his room in his mother's house. So i agreed, he picked me up and i helped him re-organized his room, It's a little shack in the garden, outside the house. We had a great time that day, he also took me to his workplace to dry some clothes. We fooled around a bit but I didn't want to have sex with him just yet.

After that day, communication has been great. He was out of town that weekend and we updated each other. I invited him to stay over one night and he agreed. he brought me dinner and i bought wine from his favorite region. It was a great night. that tuesday night. I couldn't sleep well because he snores but i felt secured nevertheless. We woke up really early in the morning. and had coffee before he off to work.

He slept-over again last saturday. and i felt great and more intimate, and I did have a good night sleep.

Now as i write these post, i realized that i really like him now. but now it's just the matter of he tells me what he wants. I hope we want the same thing and it will be the beginning of something wonderful together. or maybe this bill be just become a bittersweet lesson for me.

I have some baggages and he does too. I am not out to my family. He always tells me to come out but i don't think i'm ready just yet.

After spending the night together last saturday, we haven't been in touch since then. I sent him messages but he didn't reply back.

To be honest, i still see another guy or two but it's because we're not anything yet. I don't feel guilty about it even though i like him a lot. Does he feel jealous about it. I checked my Site#F profile today and he messaged me, i was in shock because he hasn't been online for months. "mmm.. online xox". he said. Does he got jealous and not replying me or he was just busy and i'm worrying too much..

Oh well. another day another drama,


In Being fallen

A very wise friend told me that being in love with someone is a beautiful thing and one should just embrace it. She also told me that while i am closer to my prime in coming years, Joe's days are numbered. In theory, he won't be going anywhere but nothing but time could tell. 

This is the first time i feel this way and i will listen to my wise friend. I just have to embrace it, if i get my heart broken again then it's a lesson of life.



there's a lot of things happening in 2 weeks, the last time i blog. Things are moving slowly with Joe, a.k.a mr.big. and We are getting closer. I'm going to write all about it soon. x

Monday, November 15, 2010


Joe a.k.a mr.big has been calling me a few times after we met. Very unexpected. He asked me to spend time with him this weekend but i couldn't well, i guess timing is always been a problem. He also texts whenever i missed his calls, intentionally or unintentionally. but i usually call him back. He's being very sweet to me, wishing me good night or wishing me having a great day in the morning. That makes me even more clueless. Now my heart is numb, and my brain tells me that it's kinda wrong to see all this guys at once.


Thursday, November 11, 2010


I guess i lack of ambition. I just don't know what i want, well not completely. I know my mid and long term goals but i don't know what are my ambitions in carrier or love in the sort term. After coffee with Mr.Big a.k.a Joe. (Because suddenly i think he's not my Mr.Big yet, haha) left me more clueless. I agree to meet Sam, the I.A tomorrow. well, this is not set in stone but he will confirm again tomorrow. Well, i guess it will become a headache if i see couple of guys at the same time. Around christmas time, i was seeing 2 guys at the same time, with no goals. and now they moved on. so did i. and To be honest, being with those guys, made me even lonelier during christmas time. So i don't know what's gonna happen with me. I have stopped looking around. I will see someone that's in front of my eyes. I will not look fro any more troubles. I have enough.

I don't know what's the I.A wants, well, i guess a little bit of fun won't hurt I guess i miss a little bit of an action from him. he rejected me once, but he wants to see me again. well weird huh. but his intentions i clear, no strings attached and i guess that's what i want at this moment.

I have another 2 potential dates that i haven't seen yet. and they're dying to meet me. but of course we have to test out all the chemistry first before things might go hot and heavy. the first one is a culinary school student. I'm his type. We have chat couple of times but he's always busy but He always tells me that he's dying to see me for coffee. oh well, i guess i have an admirer. that's good. The second guy is a visitor to this city, He's from very far-far away. We have been in touch for more than a year. He has called me couple of times for phone sex. haha well, he's the only guy that i have phone sex with. Well, It's nice to see someone from far away coming to visit me. a lonely boy.

And Don't forget about Mick, the partnered guy. We haven't talked this week. haha, i guess he's been busy hunting from others, i often see him online this week. well, i don't mind seeing him again. The sex was amazing and the coffee was even better. It was plain fun. That's what i like about seeing him, no strings attach and but there's always a possibility. and I'd love to keep it that way.

I guess i'm having fun now, that's great. Will it make me happy or make me a happier guy. We'll see what happen. One thing for sure, i don't what to get my heart broken again.


Coffee with Mr.Big

I just had coffee with Mr.Big. He just dropped me back home 5 minutes ago. We agreed to meet each other  at a coffee shop near where i live. I thought that i would be anxious to meet him, but turned out I was okay. I felt calm. we had an okay time together. Our conversations just revolved around life and updating each other with what was going on since the last time i saw him. He explained to me that he was busy, i bought it. He told me that he was moving out and there were a lot of dramas around it. He didn't look good t all, i can feel that he's depressed, same like me. He told me that he's been living with his mother since last weekend, and he stopped looking for new houses and His ex-housemate got their own temporary space. I figured that his shit was much bigger than mine, and i shouldn't be dragged in his for sure. I mean everyone has baggages, but If i ask myself now whether I love him that i can accept his baggages. My answer is No. I don't think i love him. I did fell for him because of the euphoria, and feeling something that i had not felt before but I guess it will take a long time for us to be together if that is the possibility. We talked a lot about life and, i talked a lot about my anxieties. He told me that "we" need to write down on a piece of paper about "our" short, mid, and long term plans and goals. In my mind, i have no idea what was his point. He might be joking about this, but when he told it, he seemed serious. If he told me that a month ago, i would be over the moon. but now i felt really skeptical about the whole thing. I'm not disgusted or anything but it was vague. Not knowing what i want makes it worst.

I asked him, why did he contact me yesterday, and he said it was because i was online. well, fair enough. but i guess i can feel that he's still into me from the way he stared at me. lips might lie buy eyes never. or eyes could but only the best liar in the world who can pull it off. I'm not a good liar, that's why i always get caught. I'd rather fail than lie and pass. It's my principle.

I told him that our time together in Melbourne was special, and i asked him back was it special to you. he said yes. I didn't know if it was the truth or he was just being polite but It was nice to hear that. It doesn't matter anymore. He wanted to give me a good night sleep and he went touchy feely but i reluctant. but and the end we held hands and he gave me a kiss. It was alright, i felt the comfort but most of the feelings has lost but it's still there.

An anonymous visitor commented that i shouldn't meet up with him. but i took the chances and I can say now that i moved on in a way i have reset my heart from something that was full of shit. It was worth the trip, regardless the time wasted on thinking about him. I guess now i learn how to like someone and flush out all the feelings. just like that. It was an experience. Something i will never forget.

It was nice seeing him, i guess i used our time as a tool to test out my feelings. and in conclusion, It wasn't as big as last month. Have i moved on? YES. and i have let go of all my expectations. He wants me to meet him regularly next time i see him around next week. I guess if i have reset my heart, a blank clean slate. Let's see how it goes.

Text messages

I sent Mr.Big text messages again this morning, just to confirm our rain check tonight. I just need to assure whether he's still interested or not. I sent him a simple text, "up for coffee tonight, signore?" i kinda waited for an answer. last night as i predicted, he stood me up even though he gave an apology later. I replied his text last night, but with a very bitchy tone and very straight forward. i felt bad afterwards that's why i texted him again. After 5 minutes, my phone started ringing, it was the text message ringtone. I checked my phone and guess what, there was 2 text messages. First from Mr.Big and the second was from the interior architect. Mr.Big said: "Yes, I am!". The Interior architect only said hi, apologize for being busy and asking if i want to meet up. I just don't know what to answer. or what to do. It was a surprise.

Then the stories continues..

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Being Stood up part 2

He just texted me, he told me that he got carried away with the family, but he offered a raincheck tomorrow. Well, at least he's not a jerk who stood me up without any news. But now i begin to wonder to actually call the coffee thing off. I'll text him later when i make up my mind.


Being stood up

It's 9pm and he hasn't called. well, i guess it's off. we'll see you another time mr.big.
I hate being stood up and as i expected, he wouldn't call me back. I'm not disappointed but bit annoyed. I have anticipated this.

It's impossible to call me up for coffee at this hour anyway. If i still have feelings for him, i would've got really disappointed and gone gaga, but i'm not. so it's good. I'm numb and being stood up by him doesn't mean anything anymore.
We'll i guess i'll see him later when we have the time.



I should ask myself if i miss him. Yes and No. Yes because i wanted to meet him again and No because I have threw away all my expectations towards him and starting fresh. Why i want to meet him, is it because i wanted to tell him how i feel? Will it be a problem of being honest. or maybe honesty is not the best policy? should i just play it cool or do a little revenge and being hot and cold.No, being hot and cold is not my style. I have turned down couple of guys and being rude to them after spending time with them and I guess i have to take my karma because of it.

I asked my best friend, and i sent her my conversations with mr.big. She told me that i made the wrong move to actually ask him to meet up. but i assured her that I won't sleep with him. then i asked her again, what would she do if she was in my situation. She told me to just leave it. and let it pass. I know it will pass if i leave if, but I will never know the answer before i give it a go. She told me that in our conversation, It seems that i was into him, well, i guess we were being polite to each other and I swear that i was being a bit cold, i didn't know why. Or maybe i shouldn't answer his hi and just closed the chat windows. That is something that i will regret. Well, at least he updated me something about his life, which is good. But how would i give him an update about my life, tell him that i'm a mess, and i've been seeing a councillor, and I write a blog as a therapy? No way. Well i should tell him the truth, or at least a portion of the truth. and see how t goes. It's 7.24pm and he hasn't called me back yet. If he doesn't call then i shouldn't expect much from him again. I'm not desperate for love, but it be nice to find and keep it.



Mr. Big siad hi to me online earlier. It was quite strange as I haven't spoken to him for a while. He said hi first. It was a bit awkward and for a sudden, the feelings was flashing back in my head. He told me he was doing okay, he moved out of the house and moving back in with his mother. He hasn't found a place yet for him and his ex and his ex's partner. Now he lives nearby from where i live. I didn't know why i ask him to meet me for coffee tonight. It was very out of the blue. Should he has the right to know that i had feelings for him or it was obvious. I shouldn't guess anything what's inside his head. I don't know if if i have the courage to tell him how i felt, and at the same time Our coffee date might be canceled. I wouldn't sleep with him, if i do i'm afraid that the feelings might be back and grow, therefore i will be more and more disappointed. I'd love to take chances but calculating the gain and the loss it's pretty much obvious that the loss will be there and i'm not ready to risk it. Well, the possibility is very highly unlikely but i have to anticipate every single thing that's going to happen with me.

If i decide to be honest to him and tell him how i felt, the most likely scenario is he won't return my affection and i don't think i care about it. but what i'm afraid of that he will be out of my life forever. I think whatever happened between us, i would like to call him my friend, so it will be very disappointing if that happened. Another scenario, if i don't tell him how i feel honestly, there will be a great burden inside of me that will eat me alive, or i should not care less because the moment has gone. I have toughen up my heart in over a month, but if i ask honestly if i still have a little feelings, yes. I don't think i have moved on completely, but i have throw away all my expectations towards him and start to re-organize. It's not his fault to make me this way, it was just the situation.

A friend of mine told me, he must have liked me that's why he took me to the other city to spend time with me. but then I figured out, it was the matter of him not wanting to grow it further. It hasn't killed me either. It has made me stronger.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The Interior Architect part 2.

This part one

2 weeks ago, i woke up one day and suddenly all my heartbreak healed overnight. Maybe it was the cure or remedy out of karaoke sessions with my best friend. On that day i went to see my shrink and tell her what happened with me with Mr.Big. i got quite emotional again for a while after leaving the shrink's office but It felt great after a while. It was a long way to go to my house and i made a couple stop. I didn't know why i did that, i usually just make my way home with a cab. but I made couple of stops and took an unusual route. I didn't think or expect anything to happen but suddenly out of nowhere i saw a familiar face. It was the interior architect. We spoke to each other couple days earlier. He said he wanted to meet me for some fun, i told him i was a bit busy maybe in a week or two. When i met him it was awkward, i didn't know how to act or what to do but We saw each other and he said hi first. we talked for a bit, he told me that he is handling a project for a little cafe in that street. He also told me to let him now whenever i'm ready to meet me to hook up or have dinner or something. I guess it was a wonderful offer. I never reject any invitations for gun unless my instinct tells me no. I said to him definitely i should give him a shout. and we parted way, it was brief yet wonderful, I never run into my flings or someone that i've slept with unexpectedly. So it was a surprise. My confidence boosted up again and I felt even more healed. I don't know why i'm not ready to meet Mr.Interior Architect now. maybe because he was rejected me one, and it didn't feel good. Or maybe i'm just scared to meet him again, i'm too scared too get too involved. his appearance resembles a bad boy, but we did have chemistry together. He told me when we first met that he hates playing games. well, i do too, I never want to play one or create or get involved in one. So we have a lot of things in common, not to mention that what he's doing is related to my industry in the future. I can't imagine myself to actually working under him. Haha, never know that's it's gonna be possible. Well, i should contact him whenever i'm ready to meet him. He's a nice guy and we had chemistry together. He wants fun, and i don't now what i want but at least i know what he wants so it's good. i won't contact him unless i'm certain that i want to meet him. he hates games, and so do i. 
We'll see what happen.




I try not to be desperate, but i couldn't even predict when will i have a boyfriend. I know my own problem. I couldn't define yet what i want and what i need now. My best friend S once told me, "I've always seen you alone, and I always think of you of a single guy" Her thought of me made me really think and longing for something that i've never experienced before. The four letter words. LOVE. and someone that i can proudly call my boyfriend or my partner.
I will never put too much pressure to myself to get a boyfriend but one night stands and fun with different guy every couple of weeks does get very tiring. I see too many people at the same time. Those guys never want something serious, i guess like me either they have never experienced love before or they don't want the hassle and or have got hurt before. I appreciate all the reasons, and A little bit of fun never hurt me, well, only once where we try to took it further.
When will get myself a boyfriend, it will become a mystery. Some part of me really want someone, and experience and explore something that i haven't experience before. but some part of me doesn't want all the hassle. I identify of all my friend's problem very quickly i and i always find them the right solution but i get turned off and scared by their experience. It should be worth it, i should not be ignorant, i should try everything, AT LEAST once. just like drugs. and people always said that love is a drug, you will get high and get addicted al the time, even though it's painful and excruciating. I need to anticipate that. There's never be a right timing for this.
So when i ask myself when, i should answer: Only time can tell.

Hope and wishes

Since the last post was about expectations and disappointments, I guess i have to be honest for what i want from relationship, i won't expect it's gonna happen soon, maybe it will cost me a lifetime. We never know.
I need someone who loves me. that is the most important thing. Intelligent so our conversations won't run dry, He has to know a lot of things, exchanging ideas. Nothing turns me on more than a well functioning brain. A nice smile and a good heart.
Those are what i wish for from a guy, someone that i will call my boyfriend or partner someday.
At this moment, i don't know what i want and what i need. everything is blurred after my epiphany before and after the event. I guess i will define what i want and what i need later when i'm ready. or maybe i will never be ready. but I should be ready to answer that anytime soon, because the question is very simple. I think when i'm ready to answer that question, I should be completely healed from the event, the sweet memories with Mr.Big.
A best friend lectured me not so long ago, and she asked me the question. I couldn't answer it. Maybe i want a relationship, or maybe not. But one thing for sure, i want to experience love. Not the one way monologue but the two way communications, to love and be loved in returned. I have never experienced that before. I want to try it before it's too late. having fun is always worth it said another friend, but I get really tired from one night stands. A fling is also nice, but it might leave me with a disappointments sometimes. I never see myself getting hurt easily, but I don't have a heart made out of steel either. My heartbreak count is just one yet, maybe one and a half but in the future i will get 100 times more. Life is too short just to stay in one place. I'd love to take risk and gamble, but i always too scared to lose. When i'm ready to lose then i guess it will be the time i gain some more.

Expectations and Disappointments

I never really expect too much from someone. In a way that is a good thing but it's not always the case. My parents brought me up with low expectations and high hopes. They never have really expect too much from me. I grew up to be someone with low ambitions and I loathe ambitious people. But I have never been happy with myself completely. My mood changes, some part of me are satisfied with life at one moment, the other strife for more.

As I grew older, I expect much from myself, and less from other people. I always knew that whenever i expect other people something, i always get disappointed at the end. Hoping and expecting is a different thing, and i know from an early age to differentiate them. It started from empty promises from my parents. then betrayal from friends and being stood up on a date. well, that's just the beginning of the drama when i expect something from someone. I never promise if i don't assure myself to deliver, i guess some people never gets the point.

The last time i expect something from a guy, he made me felt like i had never felt before. It was definitely a great feeling. I didn't expect much but as the feeling grew unexpectedly, I expect much more. I didn't get what i expect at the end, and It left me disappointed. I felt hurt, he never knew. It was my fault, or no one's fault because it wasn't unexpected. but i learned my lesson. I accept that pain, it's called The heartbreak. At least he taught me something very powerful. It was the first time in my 21 years of life that i've experienced something that powerful and groundbreaking. I guess i have to thank him for that. I have moved on, but not completely. I still think about him, but I have let go all my expectations, i knew all along that it's going to get me disappointed, but i was addicted to the pain. The event was the most memorable thing i've ever felt and that city will be in memory together.

I have grown up since the event. I will try not to expect anything from anyone anymore, it will be hard but i guess to be surprised by how life is going to take me is better than my expectation comes true.

Well, I guess i never know what's going to happen in this holiday. Wait and see, don't expect much.


Sunday, November 7, 2010

Second Date

I didn't expect much from him that week.

As usual, i always been passive. I don't really text or send too many message to a date or potential dates. Just enough information to give and receive. Communication in virtual environment could be misleading and makes things complicated. I like to meet a man face to face rather than never-ending chat on an applications or the worst is ping-pong messages. Coffee is the best time to get to know each other, nothing beats coffee time.

Around mid-week, the guy from last week texted me in the morning. I'm not a morning person but i didn't know why i was awake at that time. He asked me whether i wanted to "play" and i replied, "why not?". To be honest, I lost all my sexual urge for almost 2 weeks. Don't ask why, but i reckon it was the combination of stress and heartbreak that i just lost the appetite for fun. Back to him, He replied "Okay, Pick you up at 12?, great see u then". He was at my door at 12, we planned to have a bit of fun and lunch afterwards. I was damn nervous hoping that no one was around. I don't live alone. I gave him a little tour of my house with the last destination to be my bedroom. When we were there, he looked into my eye and asked me: "What do you wanna do now?". Without answering, i guess we both knew the answer of that question. We kissed passionately then we groped each other's body. It was quite intense, he's a good kisser. We undressed each other. then get back to kissing. I felt there was this electric energy between us. There was a lot of body contact to each other, i think that's my favorite part of sex. After a while, We did it to each other. I never quite enjoyed being on top before but he changed that. It fitted like a glove. i was more dominant, It felt so powerful when I was in control. I've never felt this before. Being on top takes a lot of work, I usually being the passive guy and let the other guy do the work. I tried a lot of times but never worked out. Never like this one. It felt good, i enjoyed it quite much and we stared at each other and kissed while i did the work. After some time, he wanted to take control, i let him. It was hard for him to do me but He knew how to use it properly. It was not painful, to be honest it was very pleasurable. I felt like he was on a state of trance, he gave me couple of love bites. Never knew that bites are very pleasurable. He came, then he helped me came. Both of us were exhausted. We played for almost 2 hours in a very small room with bad ventilations and strong natural sunlights. We were sweating like a pig. I guess we burned more calories than doing yoga. He smelt nice. The combination of cigarette, aftershave and his natural smell.  We collapse on the bed,took a nap for half an hour. I was sleeping on his chest. I felt very comfortable. I must say that it was one of the best sex of my life.

 We were running out of time because we wanted to have lunch and He has some errands to run. We didn't take shower and just straight to a nice food place. I smelt like him, the combinations of both of our seats, cigarettes and cologne. We had a quick meal but very long conversations with coffee. Both of us has 2 coffees. The same one as last week. Cappuccino with sugar for him and a flat white then piccolo for me. We talked about everything. He was funny and loving, He has a good sense of humor. He knows how to talk to people, and he has a nice heart. He told me about his experience in some part of the world. I also asked him a little bit about his partner. He told me quite a lot about him, and how did they meet and such. He is also very smart, speaks 2 foreign language fluently and learning a couple more. He speaks my forgotten native language a little, He even knew the slang and a very lame expression. I was stoked but amused. We also shared the same passion for something flying up in the air, so our conversations were endless. But after an hour, that was what we got. He dropped me back home. A gentleman. He told me that he will find some time to meet me again, i hope he meant it. I would love to meet him again. But I told myself, i should not get too involved, or else i will get hurt. The sex was good and the conversations were great but that was it, could it be more than that. I should nt expect much from it. Just remember that he is partnered, and he has a lot of skeleton in his closet. Just like mine. Will there be any future for the two of us? I never know where life is going to take me, but I will see how it goes. A bit or a lot of more fun will never let me down usually. When a sudden unexpected feelings just hit me like a train, that will become a problem. If he never contact me again, I have nothing to lose, because He made me feel like a man therefore I have to take as a man.


ps: My whole body was sore for 2 days, Took me some time to recover. But it felt good, and i slept like a baby. And my friends told me that i have this glow on my face, but i didn't tell them how. :) The bite marks has not yet gone but it's fading away.


Date follow up

After the date, i logged into the site again. just to remember his face again and get some more informations about him. Living in this information age, i can search his name from a search engine and get some more informations about him. Not sure he would the same thing to me. but i guess a little background check is good, as long it's not too excessive to the point that it becomes an obsession. I send him a message: "Hey, it was really nice meeting you WL, i really enjoyed out time. Thanks for the coffee, Catch up with you soon!" i didn't expect much when i hit send. If he didn't reply then it won't hurt. I had a great time then i'll move on. But exceeding my expectations, He replied the next morning. He told me the same thing and he's interested in meeting me again in a week. Great. another date arranged then. woohooo..



I went on a date last week, He has been messaging me couple of times on site#F since 6 months ago, He's partnered that's why I wasn't interested at first. He's quite good looking i think, but not as handsome as an actor. He works for the government, military related for something up in the air. I replied his messages eventually. On my mind at that time, He's partnered but his status said open relationship It was a bit of a turn off. On the message, He told me that he and his partnered are not living together and he just wanted to have a coffee or a meal with me and anything will be possible after that. I guess a coffee wouldn't hurt. weeks ago,I was busy and he was too, took us some time to find the right time, and just earlier today we did meet for the first time. He's much taller than me, older for sure and cuter in person. He's around 6'4", very big but not flabby, I guess it was because of all the training that he did. I think he was one of the cutest guys that i've ever been on a date with. We had coffee in the city at jet's QVB he doesn't live near me, at eastern suburbs but far away in North Shore. He was in the city for some meeting so i guess it was the right timing. We introduced ourselves and he can speak a little my language surprisingly. His partner's nationality is the same as me and he's been to my city couple of times. he's also very funny, i can relate to his jokes and it wasn't a cheap joke. He told me that he's a "North shore kind of guy" which means he rarely goes out to the city unless there's something important and he loves his neighborhood. We shared quite a lot, and both of us shared the same passion for aviation. He told me almost everything, including his baggages and his life which was great. at least he's honest to me. I told him mine as well, i guess i have nothing to hide to him. Both of us are not fully out of closet at work and to some people that we love so i guess we have something in common. He was married with 2 children, his eldest one are around 4 years younger than me. and He has been divorced for more than 15 years and he's not out to some people due to his professions. I understand his situation, because it's quite similar to mine, and i get him. We had very nice conversations, He took me to rose bay and we had nice conversations there. for 3 hrs that i spent with him not even a single 5 second pauses. So communication was great. He was gentleman as well, most people that i had date with either had communication problems with me or took me for their advantage, and i don't mind, physical activities i believe is a part of communication. He took his coffee with sugar, cappuccino, a delicious drink. I had a piccolo and flat white, both without sugar. What type of coffee does one drinks reflects his personality. I believe that. Cappuccino is sweet and delicious. hmm.. After coffee we went to somewhere secluded from the city, we had further chat. We connect. he didn't try to take advantage of me at that point, but i had a feeling that he wanted to kiss me from his body language but i reluctant. I didn't know why. I guess i was feeling a bit uncomfortable because i didn't want to take it so fast and On my mind he's partnered. So i have to protect my heart. He dropped me home, a perfect gentleman. I guess a little date with a perfect gentleman wasn't that bad at all. He made my week for sure.