Monday, August 30, 2010

On Finding Dates

I have must admit that i'm a bit of a slut because i like physical encounters, more than finding the one who will ease my loneliness.well i guess i can't help it. I'm young at the age of 21. My first experience on finding dates started almost a year after i moved to Sydney at the age of 19. So I have been doing this for almost 1 1/2 years and I have never been in a relationship before. I first found out about this site (#siteM) from my best friend just called him GBF. he is the man that help me comes out of my shell and accept myself the way i am. Now we live in the same country but in different city, but nevertheless we still call each other almost twice a week. I rarely see him in person these days but emotionally he's always be there for me. So GBF joined this site when he just moved to Melbourne. he told me about #siteM and his encounters. I felt the idea of finding someone for pleasure online is a bit weird and sickening but me at the age of 17 didn't know anything about dating in this world, for some weird circumstances i also felt curious. I didn't follow my curiosity until i was in the lowest point of my life and joined #siteM. Well fast forward 1 1/2 years alter, I have #SiteM, #SiteF, #SiteG and also i have #AppG and #AppS. I always check these sites and applications almost everyday, Some weeks i got lucky, some weeks i have droughts. Being in those sites is weird like being in a market to sell yourself and also buy someone else. Finding dates is never too hard but also never easy. There are a lot of things to do. First You have to put a recent photograph of yourself, put a description about yourself, your profile such as age, location, position, interests and etc. It's the trick of the trades that to find dates. People has different taste and interest for finding their sexual partner, potential partner or both. I have a weird taste in people and I don't look ordinary at all. I'm a big guy physically and I'm not White. two things that makes me unpopular among people on these sites.  i find physique is just a surface, Whatever the purpose of my date is, physic is just an illusion. I really like my date to be smart and someone that i can click with, therefore we will enjoy out time together. From 1.5 years of finding dates, i have encountered so many people and so many stories to share. Well thanks to these 3 sites and 2 apps. but i have never find anyone that will be together with me. So I guess it's time to just keep trying and not giving up. I will keep my fingers crossed and hope to find someone.


On Being Single

I have never been in a relationship before. Well, i guess may had once in middle school when i got really close to this girl, but i didn't think it counts. We didn't do anything, so i guess it was just a really close friendship or maybe a platonic love and not a single physical activities involved. i was 14 so it was 7 years ago. Time flies. As I discover more about myself, I know exactly what i want. based on gender, sexuality, look, physical figure, and emotional character. Finding the one is never exactly easy.
I'm a really big fan of sex and the city and the character Carrie Bradshaw represents every 'single' mankind in this world, or if it's too extreme, a single fella living in the city. it takes Carrie 6 years for her lover to finally say ' you are the one'. I believe i will encounter something similar. or not. I will never know unless i try hard and smart. My best friend always has this perception of me being a confirmed bachelor for life. Well, i guess i liked the idea of being single for the rest of my life until last week something just hit me and realized the fact that i don't wanna miss out my youth and experimenting looking for love.
I believe intimacy without intricacy, but does that concept can replace the real thing. I will never find out unless i try. they say that love is a drug, but have i ever try the drug? never. I will have to swallow it or at least try something that i have never experienced before.
Being Single is easy, you have no restriction. no limit. freedom. Some of my friends who are partnered envy my single life. I was laughing inside, i thought i was blessed not to have all the trouble in the world just for the sake of being someone else's but now i think again. Is it worth it?
So many contradicting theory in my head, but I guess for now i just have to enjoy being single and keep my options open.


Single not yet Double

Why this blog is called single not yet double? well i haven't really carefully thought about any good names, i was just being spontaneous about making this blog and all was done in 15 minutes, so i just typed something that crossed my mind and single not yet double is a perfect anme to describe how i feel right now. I'm a single man, i'm not desperate to find anyone now but the idea of being lonely scared the hell shit out of me. i'm still young at the age of 21 but i just can't imagine in 10 years when i'm more aged and mature i will regret missing out experimenting out of finding love. I'm single and i will keep my option open so i will know what it feels like to have someone else. So this is the definition of single not yet double.


The reason

There are millions reasons why people start blogging, My reason is to let my real self write in my alter ego's name and I find it sort of a therapy. My life right now is not shit, not even fucked up but overall i'm just bored. nothing's changed for a while i'm still in the same place where i used to be almost a year ago. I'm keeping my options open and trying to pursue excitement of life.


William Lemon

William Lemon is not my real name, not even close. I chose the name out of the blue, well not that spontaneous. I always thought that William is my alter ego name and Lemon because i love Liz Lemon from 30 rock. i also don't look like my profile. I created my own avatar in 3 minutes from mad men yourself site. Well i don't look exactly like that but at least i want to give someone a bigger picture that behind this pseudo character that i created, there's an anonymous man behind it. He's single and not yet double. Well widely available. I am inspired creating this blog as a form of therapy. I have always been inspired by a lot of blogs and i created a couple and they just didn't work for me at all. But this time i'm willing to try again and hopefully it will work out. and HEY Blogging is so much cheaper than paying a shrink, I don't think I have money anyway to pay a shrink. I'm just a poor guy in the big city



People always say that blogging is a form of therapy, I thought why don’t i give it a try, Pour my heart and thoughts into it.