tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36294265790518748602024-02-03T10:15:49.865+11:00Write about loveWilliam Lemon is an anonymous single man who lives down under. He is writing his journey in search of the four letter words.William Lemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00383929022782338085noreply@blogger.comBlogger130125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3629426579051874860.post-1763323432756054382016-03-01T17:00:00.001+11:002016-10-31T17:30:51.714+11:00Jakarta<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">What time do you call this?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">I've been craning, bewildered all my days</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">To now find your face</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Shining out of the crowd</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #ccccdd; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Love was just a word</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">That friends didn't mention</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Cause love was just a joke</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Till it battered me senseless</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #ccccdd; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Ohh, shrink with me, tower with me</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Wither with me, flower with me</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Endlessly follow me</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Chew me up and swallow me</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #ccccdd; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Stay at least for now with me</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Drink and dance and row with me</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Tell me when I go too far</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Stay precisely where you are</span><br />
<div>
<br />
"What Time Do You Call This?"-Elbow<br />
<br />
Jakarta eh..<br />
<br />
My hometown.. So far i've been here 2 years. Life is slow here, but things moving at rapid speed. I wish It could be slower, but I guess It's just me that has to keep up with the time.<br />
<br />
I just watched the movie Man-Up on Netflix, Netflix is my new boyfriend). It's a silly romcom and Somehow it made me tear up, it's about a chance encounter that wasn't planned as once stole one's date. I figured that it was just a movie but hey sometimes reality is stranger than fiction and life does imitates art. As you know It happened to me but i was the one whose date got stolen. Haha oh well those were the times when i was a little more desperate than i am now.<br />
<br />
I am content being single, no pressure from myself to find someone as the dating pool here sucks, and I am just focusing on myself. Well, I guess if there's more guys here that's more my type in this town to date and to fuck i wouldn't be this chilled. I felt like being Celibate is a good thing. Netflix, porn and my left hand are saviour.<br />
<br />
When I watched the movie, I couldn't help myself wonder, I kinda miss that kind of connection. I haven't got one for a while. I miss dating, but I don't miss the rejection. The GAME, the tug-o-war the confession, the heartbreak after...<br />
<br />
I mentioned that I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety few years back and i've been taking my meds regularly.. maybe it's one of the side effect.. that It's harder for me to connect with another human being..<br />
<br />
Last night I had a dream, well.. Someone's been on my mind this weekend.. He just popped up from moment to moment.. A guy that met last year in Bangkok. He seemed like an ideal guy.. But yeah he's partnered now and the distance between us really sucked. He's the total opposite of me in many ways but I believe that we complete each other. Does that makes sense? I long to be with him. But He would reject me. I tried to be friends but It seems that He knew that I liked him a lot. I've got a feeling He liked me too but yeah the distance.. the gap.. It's like solving a very hard equation of love...<br />
<br />
I should just give it up.. But I couldn't maybe time will forget the time i was with him.. just as a sweet memory, not a profound feeling that i've been holding on for a year and a half.<br />
<br />
<br />
I think Elbow's song just summarized my feelings right now.<br />
<br />
X<br />
WL<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
William Lemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00383929022782338085noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3629426579051874860.post-79387550974322269262015-11-19T15:01:00.003+11:002015-11-19T15:01:27.469+11:00DepressionI think i have to come clean,<br />
<br />
the reason why i haven't blogged much in the past years was because i was battling with depression.<br />
It is something that i've been battling for the last couple of years, a demon inside me that i battle to each and everyday. I have been treated accordingly but being on the meds and getting through life is not easy. There are times that i just couldn't cope with things, even the slightest task.<br />
<br />
I moved back home with my folks and It made me feel better but there are always new challenges with living with parents.<br />
<br />
I am anxious most of the time, anxious about life, the future. about love, about carrer, about everything that matters and things that shouldn't matter to me.<br />
<br />
I often think of an escape from this jail that i've built but it's not easy to go through the blueprint that i've built. I felt powerless.<br />
<br />
It took a toll on relationship that i had with people among me. I've been distant with my friends, family, and lovers.<br />
<br />
I realised that i coped my anxiety with sex and dating, hoping that it would make myself feel better, but no. it made me feel even more empty.<br />
<br />
That room in my heart that is not filled with anything, it was just contempt.<br />
<br />
I think i've come to term to learn to love myself first than the others.<br />
<br />
William Lemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00383929022782338085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3629426579051874860.post-73822870474912739092015-10-05T18:52:00.001+11:002015-10-05T18:52:27.978+11:00Crossing path Sometimes you just won't know who you would meet along the way. Finding connection in the age of grindr is easy, as easy as opening an app on your phone.<br />
<br />
In the past few months i crossed path with few exciting people. People that i've met virtually and also in real life. I cherished every moments that i shared with these wonderful people. Sometimes it's not all about hooking up to find yourself and dig the other person deeper. I find it more profound that having one night stands.<br />
<br />
Don't get me wrong, i still love my sex, but to find that special person in life, of these special people in life is harder than finding someone who's compatible in bed with me. I've been ravelling quite extensively in the past few months and The guys that i found outside my home ground are way more exciting and more on my level than guys who i usually interact. I don't know if it was traveller's luck or i was just lucky that i was at the right time or place at that point in my life that these encounters opened my eyes that i truly cherished being single.<br />
<br />
The intimacy that i shared, the stories we tell, the activities that we did together. Those are precious moments that were priceless. I didn't regret any single moments, yet I just have to move on as we were just crossing path. They were not there to stay and so was i.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />William Lemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00383929022782338085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3629426579051874860.post-82309841939036263862015-09-29T17:06:00.003+10:002015-09-29T17:06:52.859+10:00Sexual frustrationSince I moved back home, I rarely get to have sex. sexual encounters are rare. Not because i don't have a lot of offers but I'm just not attracted to local boys. I find only a few of local guys are hot. Jakarta is a strange city. I don't think people a plenty of sex here. Maybe they do, on a binge, in any opportunity and any chance they get.<br />
<br />
I honestly feeling sexually frustrated. Should i just hook up with someone that i'm not attracted to but worshipped me or should i wait til i got a chance to get away from this hell hole and release my frustrations on holiday. well as a single guy, i just don't know when i'm gonna get lucky. hooking up takes an effort, there's a lot mental checklists to tick and not to mention the cab fares. well i guess that's least of the problem. most of them comes from my own insecurities, will he accept my the way i look? my chunky figure, the fact that i smoke? and the list continues.<br />
<br />
I'm on a strict diet now. my parents said i could be even more attractive if i work out, lose weight and gain muscle. Maybe parents know best. so i'm willing to give it a go.<br />
<br />
Sometimes i feel that being a big boy diminishes the chances to find attractive guys on grindr. well there's always growlr, but i'm not always attracted to most of the guys there. don't get me wrong. I like my bears but there's a lot of guys who don't know to take care of themselves there. well looking at the mirror even though i have a bit of weight problem, i take care of myself, i take care of hygiene seriously, i work out a bit and i'm quite active. i have bit of muscle too. I won't be attracted to guys who looks like they don't shower for few days. and plenty of them on growlr. I just wanna hook up and date guys who has standard on their appearance. amazing personality is also a plus. more points if they're awesome. i don't think i can stand someone who's very intense, talking to me as if we were on a shrink's office. Well i think my criteria aren't that high but how come it's so hard to find a nice guy.<br />
<br />
Maybe the fact that i only attracted to mostly white guys also narrowed down my choice. I'm not a total potato queen but i think i prefer my vanilla than other flavors. chocolates are nice, also salted caramel and coconut flavored ice cream. :)<br />
<br />
I guess i just have to learn to be patient., control my urge, and maybe when i least expected it i will find the one.<br />
<br />William Lemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00383929022782338085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3629426579051874860.post-60279338827242904312015-08-26T17:53:00.003+10:002015-08-26T17:53:39.801+10:00I thought he was the one... But He turned out to be a sociopath.<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
This happened few years ago, I met this guy who i thought was the one. </div>
<div>
To me he was almost perfect and i overlooked his baggage. I was not even sure why. </div>
<div>
They said love defies everything, including logic. I guess it was true in this case.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
He never hurt me physically, but he did hurt me emotionally. BADLY. </div>
<div>
few sessions to see psychologist and psychiatrist later, i was on the mend, with medication,</div>
<div>
Just to get over this guy. he fucked up my mind badly. Why?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Did I just hurt myself by falling in love with the wrong guy? why i always attract these kind of guys?</div>
<div>
He was a loser, a total loser that i loved. I still cared about him though, i still can't help myself.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
But yeah I get that he's no good, but being with him was like a drug. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
We looked good together, our conversation always flowed, he got me and i understood him. </div>
<div>
We shared the same passion, I felt like we were twins, and i thought that i found a soulmate. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
We knew we couldn't be together because he was moving but i opted to continue seeing him. </div>
<div>
It was a great few months, then he left. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
We continued to talk to each other everyday, my heart always pounding everytime i received his message. I felt content, there was someone out there who cared about me. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I visited him, It was the beginning of a disaster, he came clean to me that he was seeing someone else. "just to fill the gap" he said, i was upset. then he got upset too. We hurt each other many times after, including one big confrontation, long passive aggressive emails bounced back and forth. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I was exhausted.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
On the final blow. I received a phonecall from his best friend. Telling me about everything, why he left, and why he was unstable. well shit got cleared, he was a psychopath. A social butterfly, a user. He left too many problems behind that he couldn't go back. Problems includes debts, feud with family members with physical violence, and many more. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
He was in love with me because i admired him, his good looks, his charm, and I adored him. But also because i was there. I was convenient. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
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I remained friends with him but it got tough When i saw him again and i've moved on. He accused me of being obsessed with him. though i had truly moved on and thought of him as a friend only. </div>
<div>
He said hurtful things to me, it made me angry so i cut him off completely. Obviously He was furious at me because i didn't feel the same way was as before. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It was the second time i got hurt, it hit me badly. </div>
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Maybe it's true, you can't tied up your soulmate as partner. It's too painful.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The pain is gone now, but only the scar left behind. </div>
<div>
And i thought he was the one, maybe he was. but now I'm looking for another one. </div>
<div>
The one who wouldn't hurt me as bad. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
WL.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
William Lemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00383929022782338085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3629426579051874860.post-27199233043454599142015-08-03T15:29:00.001+10:002015-08-03T15:29:23.317+10:00He's just not that into meI get that a lot of times when somebody take me out on a date (in any context) and i certainly feels that he's just not that into me therefore we won't communicate more than our first meeting. I never have any hard feelings towards it but it always annoys me for a few days or weeks but always get over it quick. In a harsh gay dating world when you give someone a message only 10% of all the message that you send is replied by your potential dates. He might reply suggesting to chat further or meeting up or just a simple rejection letter. "Sorry, but i am not interested". Or the third option, he might block you. Which one is worst? rejection letter or no reply or being blocked? I think being blocked is the worst, yet rejection letter and no reply action are not as bad but it kills your confidence. That's just the first part of the harsh gay dating world. It wasted time and effort, or possibly heart. The first time i get the rejection letter or being blocked i was so surprised. Turns out i realized that to survive the dating game in this city I have to be someone that i'm not. I'm not that tall, definitely not skinny posses this certain look, act this certain way, belong to a certain race. Although some believe that opposite attracts but I figure that in this city they date or fuck with the mirror image of themselves. Let say if you are are a little overweight and don't belong in a majority race your chance on finding dates are really small. unless you find some niche which i have but still harder than normal average people. I have been on some dates where i am 100% sure that the guy will never contact me back because i know that he's just not that into me. Most of the time i weren't into them either so why bother putting more effort into waste.<br />
<br />
When i was younger, let's say 21 years old. I just found out about the gay world. it was liberating, to have something new, beyond my sheltered life. I knew from such an early age i was into older guys. But most of the people out there are ageist. they would tell me off that i was too young.<br />
Now when i got older, i guess the table a little bit turned. most guys these days aren't looking for someone my age. i wonder why.<br />
<br />
Rejection is hard. but i guess i learnt it from time to time.<br />
to to accept the fact that i cannot change and accept the change within myself.<br />
<br />
Should i be a different person? why is it so hard to find someone who will accept me for whoever i am. beyond looks, personality, wealth, etc. I am getting tired with all of these nonsense.<br />
<br />
Maybe if i transformed myself into a different persona, at least people would look at me differently. yet i might just killed someone, someone who is me.<br />
<br />
;)William Lemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00383929022782338085noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3629426579051874860.post-37827127536314399762015-08-03T15:20:00.000+10:002015-08-03T15:20:56.736+10:00love found love lost, then found again: renewed.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitrOolQPVU2kGaOcx9CJhWkuCGOWDv4i78rG3sHFqFGAQeyRcYTE2OU9qU3kFU8B0NQqaLsieqFAZs-BdXSbvnBIrWqBQ7-l9IMPVnnvEDfDaZtZj7Z9-3N_DkSR42yOCRkhzEEdgI8Q/s1600/love+love+vashikaran.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitrOolQPVU2kGaOcx9CJhWkuCGOWDv4i78rG3sHFqFGAQeyRcYTE2OU9qU3kFU8B0NQqaLsieqFAZs-BdXSbvnBIrWqBQ7-l9IMPVnnvEDfDaZtZj7Z9-3N_DkSR42yOCRkhzEEdgI8Q/s320/love+love+vashikaran.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
This happened few years ago, i know i had not been very disciplined in writing my blog, but it's something that is quite meaningful to me. His name is Byron. I met him through Growlr. He's attracted to my type, a bigger asian guy. Well in Sydney he got plenty of options. Well, he did meet most of them to get over his ex. He moved from a state not far away and yet probably it was just time before i met him. He was friends with people that i knew back then. They were in the same circle.<br />
<br />
When we met, it was just magical. We did rounds of sleepovers, cuddling sessions, and emotionally dependent to each other for a while. I gave him a cute nickname, and it seemed that we were perfect for each other.<br />
<br />
but yet, the sex did not work.<br />
<br />
Sex is very important factor to build up a relationship. and in this case that factor was just missing. We tried, but yet we gave up. I guess what we had was stronger than sex. we still continued seeing each other. until he moved away.<br />
<br />
I vividly remembered they day i dropped him to 357 to have sex then i picked him up after he got some sex, It felt weird yet it felt fulfilling so see someone that i cared got what he needed. I also sought sex from other people. but yet at the end of the day he came home to me, and we embraced in each other's arm and collapsed in my bed.<br />
<br />
We laughed, we argued, we kissed, we cuddled. but we did not make love.<br />
<br />
I loved him, he loved me but it just didn't work.<br />
He moved away, yet he came back to me.<br />
We renewed our relationship into something stronger. a friendship that is beyond love.<br />
I love him unconditionally.<br />
<br />
We are friends now.<br />
That's what matters the most: The fact that he's still in my life.<br />
Maybe forever.William Lemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00383929022782338085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3629426579051874860.post-33880117046462549012015-04-19T05:28:00.001+10:002015-04-19T05:28:51.311+10:00NEW CHAPTERI've been absent from blogging for more than a year now. <div>
Stay tuned for something exciting. </div>
<div>
A story about my new adventures. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
xxxx</div>
<div>
WL</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
William Lemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00383929022782338085noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3629426579051874860.post-56352743171000109232013-11-25T02:33:00.004+11:002013-11-25T02:33:55.071+11:00I will possess your heart<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLRxbRVcTP3rHXfGeVAthkla-vCMWAZFm_fn2myJPM4hGprw0ceGkuDPJlln-CpFg7FbwtQkJaG6Ha61S9yrPe-cmZO95mY9wY0O5HBWzofk_MXHq4Q7sWw4SxO9zMm3U_umEcLyCSSg/s1600/i-will-possess-your-heart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLRxbRVcTP3rHXfGeVAthkla-vCMWAZFm_fn2myJPM4hGprw0ceGkuDPJlln-CpFg7FbwtQkJaG6Ha61S9yrPe-cmZO95mY9wY0O5HBWzofk_MXHq4Q7sWw4SxO9zMm3U_umEcLyCSSg/s320/i-will-possess-your-heart.jpg" width="272" /></a></div>
"How I wish you could see the potential of you and me It's like a book elegantly bound but in a language you can't read just yet. You got to spend some time with me, love and I know that you'll find love, I will possess your heart"- Death Cab for Cutie.<br />
<br />
<i>Dedicated to someone who I really care at the moment. </i><br />
<i>You know who you are.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<div class="p1">
It's been a week since you left. Well I know you have been trying to burn the bridge between us, starting on your side. But I feel like my side is stronger, stronger than you think. </div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
Do I have to accept the fact that you're burning it. Or I have to keep the bridge strong. I don't know.</div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
I like the idea of being able to cross the bridge to your side and ask you out to be true.</div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
Is it only a fantasy? Or could it be true. Only time could tell.</div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
I don't give up easily. But I know when to stop. It's when it's not worth it. But I think you're still worth a million chances, to spend. </div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
Keep smiling, you will always be in my heart</div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="p1">
1.41am Wednesday 25 September 2013</div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<i>Dedicated to someone who I really care at the moment. </i><br />
<i>You know who you are.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<div class="p1">
It was great to hear your voice yesterday, your sweet voice. That one hour phone call sweeten my soul. I know you miss me and I miss you dearly but also I don't want to crowd in your space. We are separated by oceans and time. The gap is getting bigger and I have no choice to let go and not to swim against the currents. I'm glad you met someone. It's always nice to meet someone when you're on a journey to find yourself and Someone to think about. Hope he's nice and he's taking care of you. I hope we will still be good friends. I love you dearly and I'm letting you go to release myself from the jail that I build in. I always smile looking back from the time that we spent but I won't dwell on the past too much. But you're always gonna be close to my heart, always.</div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
12 October 2013 Saturday</div>
<br />
<div class="p1">
9.38pm </div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<i>Dedicated to someone who I really care at the moment. </i><br />
<i>You know who you are.</i>William Lemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00383929022782338085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3629426579051874860.post-76940256491960879212013-11-25T02:25:00.002+11:002013-11-25T02:25:49.654+11:00Ginger bear/ Quest for love<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Once upon a time, I met a ginger bear. he was cuddly as a teddy bear. He has a cute face, red hair and a body like a teddy bear. very cuddle. My first encounter with him was a typical grindr booty call in the middle of the night. I was on my way home and he was keen to fuck me.<br />
<br />
Damn, it was good. I rarely bottom, but that night i was just feeling like one. He just knew how to push the button and an extensive cuddling session after. He has a very warm personality. that was a major plus point. We continued to see each other on sexual basis, and nothing more than that. We added each other on facebook, and other social media, but we never caught up as a friend. He initiated most of our meet. good sex, then cuddle, and conversation. just what i needed.<br />
<br />
Somehow, i couldn't see myself dating him. Maybe i'm a goldilocks, i just want that is <i>just right</i>.<br />
Living in Sydney, a beggar can't be a chooser. it's hard to find what i want. My basic biological need is fulfilled from time to time, The city has chosen few great sex for me, not the other way around. I can't complain though, but why hasn't Sydney chosen me "the one"?<br />
So i have to look harder or wait til the time is right?<br />
I can't tell, I just have to wait and looking for one that is <i>just right</i>.William Lemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00383929022782338085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3629426579051874860.post-54110741140879594372013-11-22T02:20:00.004+11:002013-11-22T02:20:58.410+11:00The doctor<div style="text-align: left;">
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<br />
<br />
He is an older handsome man, with a chunky built, all muscle, killer smile, and amazing smell. I encountered him sometime last year, in the winter. I was writing up a paper in the middle of the night and somehow i ended up in his bed at 2 am in the morning.<br />
<br />
The mood of the room was intimate, that's how i put it. candles everywhere. soft music playing, light chill out music, a type of music that always gets me turned on. He knew how to seduce a man, with his touch, with his smile.<br />
<br />
No words are exchanged, just lust.<br />
Lust then turned into passion. he was such a good kisser, his body was amazing to touch and he gave an incredible blow job. He was a total bottom, and very submissive. but he taught me how to please him. We shared the equal power of control, when he rode me on top, he just knew how to please me with his arse. It felt like paradise, he just knew how to control it. it made me when wild. Then when we were on the other position, he wanted me to be in charge. I started slow, passionate, love-making like then turned into full on fucking like an animal.<br />
<br />
Then it got really intimate again.<br />
We fucked for very long time. I had no idea how i had the energy, but when i looked at the time and the window it was already 6:30am in the morning. I got really tired, but I want to know the man who i was fucking for hours and hours. I didn't know his name, so I asked, His name is Robbie, a specialist doctor. We exchanged information about each other while i spooned him and fuck him very slowly with the only energy left and I fell asleep while i was inside him. We shared a lot in that morning, about his past relationships, his profession, life, about me and how much he loved me inside him.<br />
<br />
Somehow i could see myself being with him. he's the kind of guy that i always wanted. Older, handsome and great sexual drive.<br />
<br />
I woke up around midday, then he turned really cold. he wasn't as warm as 3 hours before when my eyes were closed. He turned into completely different person. He just wanted me out of the bed quickly and leave the place. polite, yet cold. not what i expected out of the man.<br />
<br />
We showered separately, quickly get dressed and left. We would keep in touch again, and I caught up again with him but it wasn't as good as the first time. He wanted to explore the darker side, and yet i reluctant. I wanted to feel what i felt the first time around. But what he could offer me, to use him like a whore. Not the kind of sex what i want.<br />
<br />
I also got really worried that we got too intimate that he distanced himself. He wrote me a nice love letter after we played the first time around and when I hung out at his place not long after we fuck. He just gone really cold again. I just don't get him being hot and cold.<br />
<br />
I like him, really do. but what can i do, the first time was a splendid memory, and the rest. rubbish.<br />
I would love to make love to this man again. maybe one day he would open up his heart, as much as he opened up his legs.<br />
<br />
WLWilliam Lemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00383929022782338085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3629426579051874860.post-53376935442879099342013-11-22T01:46:00.000+11:002013-11-22T02:23:58.580+11:00Sex Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYJVws6DjfBa-6l_M8bMU2u32iJtLWNQXPetpW8b2ev-pLtYUH4ETfV4vuhZif3nxOT2iBZWPazXb73SNQ4mj4bdvhSitT6BUXtYyUTdISDRZ5W5dlNEHQ34j4MIXUyVPI4OAQVgpEag/s1600/f7cd2853e59e8a862bffb611123893ea.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYJVws6DjfBa-6l_M8bMU2u32iJtLWNQXPetpW8b2ev-pLtYUH4ETfV4vuhZif3nxOT2iBZWPazXb73SNQ4mj4bdvhSitT6BUXtYyUTdISDRZ5W5dlNEHQ34j4MIXUyVPI4OAQVgpEag/s1600/f7cd2853e59e8a862bffb611123893ea.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Being young and sexually active. Life is great isn' it, with the help of technology and I know how and when to get laid. not.<br />
<br />
As I mentioned, sex life is great, but that doesn't make life great. I slept around with a lot of people last year, I think 2012 was the year when i got really slutty, I don't want to put numbers on it, but even i'm quite scared with how many men that i have been intimate with in the last 12 months, It all slowed down now, I think i have lost a little bit interest in sex, or i'm just taking a break from it.<br />
<br />
I felt at one stage that i'm a slave to desire and I will do whatever it takes to fulfil it. but there also times when i completely lost interest in sex. There are also frustrated times when i couldn't get hard for a hot guy in front of me. No idea. Biology is a complex thing.<br />
<br />
Right now, i felt kinda empty, is it because i had so much of those meaningless sex and now i gotta pay the price. well, if the price to pay only includes occasional blues i don't mind, but to mention STD, well lucky enough i haven't got one, ever but I have few scare. lucky all clear, I just have to be careful with people that i kiss, i get sore throat easily.<br />
<br />
There are times when i just want to have sex every single day of the week, i log on grindr, and other apps like scruff, or growlr or jack'd at various times of the day and i usually hit jack pot at the oddest time of the day. I call it midnight express. It was fun, hooking up with like minded people, only want to blow some load and leave. there are few times i stayed over. The sex, is mostly amazing, incredible in fact. i could write a whole book about it. but somehow, I paid the heavy price of cab fares and being a student, taxi fares in sydney are not exactly cheap. plus +20% surcharge after midnight and +10% card fees, I got broke, most of the time. I just want to jump on that cab and have sex.<br />
<br />
I realized that this is just not healthy. Am i addicted to sex? That was the question.<br />
<br />
<br />William Lemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00383929022782338085noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3629426579051874860.post-13704372931067913722013-09-26T21:28:00.002+10:002013-09-26T21:28:32.336+10:00So many stories, so little time to write. <div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I have been abandoning this blog for a
while now, the ultimate reason: studies. Well, it’s my priority, but to cut
along the story short, over the past year I met 2 incredible guys, I wasn’t
exactly in relationship with them but close. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Sex life, great so far, but it’s getting
boring. The apps, girndr, scruff, growlr, jack’d you name it, I’m there most of
the time, well just to kill time, It’s like buying a scratchy ticket and you
never know when you will get the big prize, but little prize will cheer me up
just fine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I’ve been living in this city for 5 years.
A friend of mine said that being a gay man in Sydney is not as easy as it
seems, and I have to agree. Things haven’t gotten difficult, but as I’m getting
older things has been getting clearer, or I reserved my judgments more than
ever. I started this blog when I was 20, heartbroken and confused. Almost 4
years later, I still haven’t found the guy yet to be in a relationship with.
I’m not desperate, I’m happy being single but there are times when I feel like
I want to find the one. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">I will continue writing; I think it’s good
to keep a journal, a record of my life. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
William Lemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00383929022782338085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3629426579051874860.post-20630492125341071942013-07-27T16:22:00.001+10:002013-07-27T16:22:16.207+10:00How could we make sense?<span style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); ">My friend S is having a hard time in her relationship with her partner, what happened was she got dumped by a bastard yet she's trying to pursue him back. I told her that her fight to get him back isn't worth her time and Energy. She reluctant to listen to me as usual, "I don't want the love of my life to go away" she said. </span><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); "><br></div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); ">The one. It is a hard concept. Sex and the city (the series) made it clear what is the notion of "the one". Did Carrie instantly know that Mr.Big was the one for her when she bumped into him on the street of New York? Was it fate that brought them back together despite hard breakups, disappointments? Or was it get struggle or they just instantly knew that they have to be together to complete their life? </div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); "><br></div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); ">I recently met someone l, from the moment we met, I knew that I could spend the rest of my life with him. Silly I know, but sometimes that gut feelings are stronger than logic. We've been seeing each other for few times now and every time I met him my heart beats faster for him. His smile, his charm creeps into my mind every seconds, every time I breathe I think of him. </div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); "><br></div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); ">I could see myself be with him for the rest of my life. He is perfect to me. But we just met at the wrong time. When I first had a chat with him at grindr months ago, he was seeing someone so I waited for him til he's ultimately single. When he confirmed to me that he's single I asked him out for coffee. It started from a cup of coffee and an hour of conversation. That smile. That smile. I want him.</div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); "><br></div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); ">He's leaving. He's leaving Sydney for good. He's moving to Bali. Buying a property and settle there. My heart sank. But I couldn't do anything, anything to change his mind. I know that he's keeping distance to me. But at the same time I could see a genuine smile every time I see him. I don't want to misinterpret his charm, but this is what I feel now. A warm feeling that is warming my soul this chilly winter. I just hope he feels the same way about me. </div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); "><br></div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); ">Could he be the one? Did we meet a wrong time? Or our path just cross and he's just another one in my life that will pass and I will find another one just like him? </div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); "><br></div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); ">He's old, I'm young. I'm just about to start my career, he has stopped working. He's leaving and I'm staying. </div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); "><br></div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); ">How could we make sense? </div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); "><br></div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); ">WL</div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); ">Surry Hills, 27 July 2013 <div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq5Tq_zIEdOXJZFCTift8Vp-e-nN2O9Mhh_UiKFauJlwtl0JaGKX2x3ZgiVCrMcom6syXYP88TDo-9MYXhkK87XP3x-1Kb363ooW3r7q3lIhDhIno5rjZPt9ufJ4voNQ0wlqQcrk5Ukg/s640/blogger-image-2074085803.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq5Tq_zIEdOXJZFCTift8Vp-e-nN2O9Mhh_UiKFauJlwtl0JaGKX2x3ZgiVCrMcom6syXYP88TDo-9MYXhkK87XP3x-1Kb363ooW3r7q3lIhDhIno5rjZPt9ufJ4voNQ0wlqQcrk5Ukg/s640/blogger-image-2074085803.jpg"></a></div></div><div style="font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); "></div>William Lemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00383929022782338085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3629426579051874860.post-33676012717770060742013-05-30T22:59:00.000+10:002013-05-30T22:59:50.773+10:00Back to SydneyBeing back in Sydney feels like going back home again, 4 years feels like just yesterday. I grew so much from a shy boy to someone who has a lot of experience in sex and dating. Since my dating life has been nonexistent so shall we recap my sex life then.. <div>
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After few months away, my grindr and other dating apps having been buzzing constantly, apparently it happens almost every time i go away, i'm the new fresh meat again. so it was good to get the attention for a while and some guys i met some just chat. but yeah it was great to catch up with my regular buddies for sex. During the holiday i didn't have sex with anyone and I missed it much. </div>
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Sex was great but I feels really lonely sometimes, i miss having someone that i could cuddle to and talk to and be intimate with. really sex was just a release for by biological need, but it doesn't fulfil my emotional needs. I'm a human and i feel needy sometimes. I feel a little jealous sometimes whenever i see a young couple or any couple walking down the street being intimate. It feels like having something that i have been missing out. being in a relationship, a stable one.</div>
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So yeah, i enjoyed the sex, hookups, and one night stand for a while, and Being back to normal means i have to endure my loneliness and keep looking for the right man with the right application :)</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTEew9Z5Lywa5_V6RpHRrscANTWX4vWhW2TArPx4tywqcIbcOBvFteZm4SAbhbL-DV4Vdl1-B6x2Ld4ES2u_WcTZ0U9TK-KyEgRKxh0GwAzv4WaRI9EjaUuRO77Cb4-IvIqh2AgwYV9w/s1600/tumblr_ml6bqgOazX1qkztgqo1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTEew9Z5Lywa5_V6RpHRrscANTWX4vWhW2TArPx4tywqcIbcOBvFteZm4SAbhbL-DV4Vdl1-B6x2Ld4ES2u_WcTZ0U9TK-KyEgRKxh0GwAzv4WaRI9EjaUuRO77Cb4-IvIqh2AgwYV9w/s640/tumblr_ml6bqgOazX1qkztgqo1_500.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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William Lemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00383929022782338085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3629426579051874860.post-17371206857211023042013-05-30T22:39:00.000+10:002013-05-30T22:39:09.272+10:00SQ241It was Valentine's day and I have to take an early morning flight back to Sydney, the end of my holiday. Sadly, it all came to an end. I spent really great time back home, spending time with my friends and my family. ate a lot of good food, hear good news (my sis got engaged to her handsome partner).<br />
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Changi Airport Terminal 3 was quiet at 6am in the morning but i was curious who's on grindr that morning. I had a chat with this really young and cute guy who turned out to be in the same flight as i was, we sat few rows apart but yeah he wasn't interested in me, that's alright i got the idea, another rejection. ;) it's really funny how grindr really revolutionised the way people communicate to each other and grindr might cuts the odds of people finding their soul mate. wherever they are, in proximity.<br />
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So i guess in my fantasy, i will find my soulmate somewhere in the airport and we'll be going to the same destination.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdYHdiLoNEjwMaCykFRpa2PLznfep5s-1Koks0fcqM9czvqWQ3ca-zszGBhdC8NlHzrjz6Y91iR6KoWLp-lDDoT5SKibR4KMMkI4UrcmNrt7TsHDrPocfcl9_2ea6fCJr_p8wMIsTp5g/s1600/217117_10151458967298598_1581706725_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdYHdiLoNEjwMaCykFRpa2PLznfep5s-1Koks0fcqM9czvqWQ3ca-zszGBhdC8NlHzrjz6Y91iR6KoWLp-lDDoT5SKibR4KMMkI4UrcmNrt7TsHDrPocfcl9_2ea6fCJr_p8wMIsTp5g/s640/217117_10151458967298598_1581706725_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />William Lemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00383929022782338085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3629426579051874860.post-32805961604027623042013-05-30T22:26:00.001+10:002013-05-30T22:26:11.482+10:00Singapore<br />
My next destination was Singapore. So after J<a href="http://writeaboutlovex.blogspot.com.au/2012/10/this-is-jakarta-oh-inilah-jakarta.html">akarta</a>, <a href="http://writeaboutlovex.blogspot.com.au/2012/10/tales-from-bali-part-deux-les.html">Bali</a>, <a href="http://writeaboutlovex.blogspot.com.au/2012/10/gili-trawangan-dancing-on-my-own.html">Gili</a> and <a href="http://writeaboutlovex.blogspot.com.au/2012/12/bandung-cheesecake-date.html">Bandung</a>, Singapore was the last stop before back in Sydney for the new semester. My best friend T has an aparment there and he always telling me to come visit him there so I did and I had a great time there.<br />
<br />
This was the first time in years where i spent the nights in Singapore, usually i just had a quick stop over on my way back home for few hours. My plan was to eat, drink and shop really well, which i did. Singapore is a place to be when you want to gain few kilos and empty your wallet for new wardrobe.<br />
Another reason why i was in Singapore is to watch wicked. I've watched it few years back in Sydney and my girlfriends wanted to watch it when the season opened in singapore. I couldn't say no to the theatre. I asked <a href="http://writeaboutlovex.blogspot.com.au/2012/12/bandung-cheesecake-date.html">Tom</a> to come along as well, but he backed out in the last minute, oh well. So it was just me, T and my girlfriends.<br />
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My friend T used to live in Singapore for more than 17 years, before he moved to Sydney for his education. I haven't wrote much about him but after my girlfriends left sydney he was always there for me. We were classmate and best mate at school and outside school. When i first met him at class i thought he was cute, when i got to know him better we have a lot of thing in common, we're both from the same country and we're both a smoker, and we're both gay. He knows singapore inside out and he's the best tour guide anyone can imagine.<br />
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He took me out partying every night showing me the scene. We went to taboo and play on my first night, at play i met a guy who i had a chat with on Scruff a week before his name is Michael, a cute latino boy from the states. It was quite funny how we met, so i was dancing on the dancefloor and saw a familiar face then i smiled at micahel then he approached and shout "I know you!!" we talked for a bit and exchanged numbers, i wanted to ask him for brunch in a few days time but it never happened. He bailed out, sadly.<br />
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Wicked was amazing, it was my second time. the first time was in Sydney, the singapore production used the Australian casts so i saw familiar faces like Jemma Rix, but the highlight was David harris. He was such a cutie a perfect Fiyero! I have a huge crush on him since. A tall blonde boy who can sing really steals my heart away! :)<br />
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Singapore was a great fun, I ate, shop and drink really well. It's a great place to live even though the weather is too hot. Maybe i'll move here one day. it will be another adventure.<br />
<br />William Lemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00383929022782338085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3629426579051874860.post-9187039463041356832012-12-30T03:00:00.001+11:002012-12-30T03:00:23.579+11:00Bad DatesOver the past few years that I have been out and about in the cruel game called the gay dating world i have encountered few or not many bad dates. Most of these dates are learning experience for me. Rejection is hard and No one likes it, but hey life is hard and the more rejections i have the more i grow myself as a person. I believe that.<br />
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In Bandung, After a date with Tom, I found myself chatting with a local guy there. He was very much interested in me. I was up for a challenge to myself to have a date with a local as I felt a little insulted every single time my friend told me that I have never attracted with guys my own race, an asian man. So to proof them wrong I set a date with this guy, Gus. Gus had okay profile picture, i didn't think i was sexually attracted with him fully but i thought i could do him for a one night stand. I was dead wrong. I couldn't stand the guy at all within the first 5 minutes i met him. So Instead of a one on one date, he trapped me to actually meeting him and all of his 20 friends. The Bandung Gays, and few transexuals and their fag hags. Geez. They were nice people but not the people i could hang out with. I was in the most uncomfortable position ever and i felt trapped in a situation where i couldn't leave straight away as it would considered very rude. I hung out with them for a while and was asked a lot of uncomfortable questions. Though Gus' friends was very nice people, i could not stand Gus' personality. also i found him very unattractive, he looked very different from his profile picture also he didn't take care much of his hygiene so i could smell his strong body odour also He has flamboyant over the top sissy personality. He wears the latest ladies handbag and most of the time he didn't really make the effort to get to know me better as a friend. He ignored me most of the time and i was trapped with his friends. So when i knew i just spent enough time so i didn't want to outstay the welcome and booked a cab and left right away. I gave Gus a handshake and I took a sigh when everything was over.<br />
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I guess that was one of the worst dates i've ever had. I guess to described it in a song it was like "Wannabe" by spice girls: "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends". :-)<br />
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That date was bad was not the worst. The worst one was In Shanghai, Where i met his guy who had a picture of himself 10 years ago as profile and looked very different as if it was different person. I met him at an expat neighbourhood called Gubei and it was miles away from French concession where i stayed. It took an effort to get there and turned out to be a wasted effort as We knew the first 15 minutes we were just lost of words. He was a bigger guy, and expat who lived there for 2 years. He was a superchub and I couldn't stand his personality. He also did not make the effort to get to know me better but it was too late to bail out on him as we have ordered our meal. We were quiet the whole dinner and He ran out of question and he asked me how many siblings I have. So that's it. We couldn't stand each other and get desserts so he asked for the bill and he did the cheapest thing ever, he texted his friend to call him so he could pretend that he had an emergency and had to leave straight away. I was in awe on how obvious it was that he just wanted to get out of there, though he got the bill to compensate me feeling uncomfortable for 45 minutes but still He has no manners to do such things. I said thanks, jumped into a cab and never looked back.<br />
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There was a similar stories, here in Sydney few months back. It was spring and I had a chat with this guy on grindr who found me attractive, he was a younger guy, 19 years old, Italian background. An aspiring singer he claimed. I thought he looked cute but also looked very different in person. He lied about his height and I just couldn't stand his over the top personality. He smoked like a chimney and he had this cockiness coming out of him. He said just to have recently lost 40 kgs in few months and he just had a newfound confidence. We tried hard to get to know each other but We both couldn't i guess i was just turned off right away, by the fact that he gave up his education to pursue a celebrity ambition to become a singer, he thinks getting drunk at oxford street every weekend is cool, and He thinks that became a Mc Donald's manager was an achievement. He was kind of full of himself and told me stories which i don't think i could believe and He also told me that his family situation was not very good financially and he had never once in his life to be in an airplane. For me he was just this narrow minded kid who needs to broaden his horizon, I could not blame him due to his age and experience though I guess he jus need to grow up a little more. Although i was quite impressed that he works hard to earn a living independently, but the way he spends his money unwisely just cancels all the good qualities in him.<br />
At the end, he was decent enough to make the efforts to get to know me but naturally i couldn't open up to him. So we parted ways when his friends arrived in oxford st for clubbing with him. We both know sure that we wouldn't see each other anymore though he was decent enough to be civil and decent to me. Lesson for me that night. never agree on a date with someone that young. period.<br />
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These are just stories from coffee dates and not hookups. I also met a few bad hookups but that's another story. These bad date stories just make me grow as a person and let myself out of the fear of rejection. It makes me master the art of having a date with someone which the way i put it is like having a glass of wine out of the bottle. You know exactly how to distinguish a bad wine but hard to distinguished in between decent and good wine. Therefore to decide to get drunk for the second one onwards takes a careful consideration :-)<br />
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But i guess the worst one i had was few years back and it only lasted few minutes. I agreed to meet this guy on a pub one afternoon and the whole date lasted 3 minutes. I though he was into me and the conversation but i guess when he looked into my pockets and saw a cigarette pack stamped against my trousers it was his cue to leave. He just said that he needed to go and that's it he ran like a cheetah. I had never met anyone that rude before, the best thing he could tell me was just tell me the truth that it wouldn't work out I am mature enough to take it.<br />
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The whole experience makes me even more mature and learn more about people's personality and behaviour. I know that in the long road of finding love the challenges are even greater each day and i'm glad i have a lot of experience out of it to overcome my fear and maybe one day find the one.<br />
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WL<br />
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ps: So my dear readers, tell me about the worst date you've ever had. I will be very excited to hear your stories. xxWilliam Lemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00383929022782338085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3629426579051874860.post-74099577562604189062012-12-30T01:55:00.001+11:002012-12-30T01:55:18.968+11:00Bandung: The Cheesecake DateDuring my stay in Jakarta I made few side trip out of town for few days to Bandung. A hillside city 100km from Jakarta. The purpose of the visit: To visit my best friend who just moved there, True purpose of the visit: To have a date with a guy that i had chats online with for weeks.<br />
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His name is Tom, an English teacher who lives in Bandung, I had a chat with with him on Grindr when I was in Gili Trawangan. His profile picture interests me and we soon became fast buddy over discussion on relationship, travel, and literature. I felt connected with him during a chat that day and soon I asked him out on a date due in 10 days time. He sent me risque pictures of him and replied back the same. I felt attracted to him even though i had never met him. Maybe i have soft spot for a ginger. As i got back to Jakarta i texted him back to confirm our meet. He was still up for it and We settled on a venue, Hotel Malya for a cheesecake date. :) Hotel Malya has the best baked cheesecake in the country. It is my favorite desert in town and i couldn't wait til I meet him in person. The intention of our meet wasn't very clear. Was it gonna be a date and hookups after or just a friendly one but i kept my fingers crossed hoping it would be a good one because i couldn't spare the disappointment if it were a bad date. <br />
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The day arrived, my bags were packed and my driver drove 2 hours through the scenic route between Bandung and Jakarta. I confirmed our date and he sent me his number. My friend was thrilled to see me. I was staying at her place for 2 nights but i would only meet him on the first night as he has plans during my second and third day. Before I met him, i did a little background check on him. I asked my former teacher if he knows about Tom, turned out I had met him long time ago when i was a student. he was one of the visiting teacher and I told my teacher at that time if Tom and him were going out as I thought of Tom was a cutie back then. Oh well my teacher remembered that clearly and told me the tale again. Maybe that's why i felt that he was very familiar, it was someone that i had met before. A schoolboy crush. x So the feelings were pure and the intentions were good :)<br />
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When i met him in that hotel coffee shop, I felt attraction coming from me instantly, He was friendly, and soft-spoken. My heart melts instantly. He was very worldly, he had lived around the world and speaks 6 different languages. He told me his experiences in different countries and how much he loves Indonesia. He's a Canadian, moved to France for University stayed there for awhile and Travelled around after, then He was teaching English in China, lived in Beijing for few years. Speaks the language fluently with Beijing accent. then moved to Bandung 6 years ago. He likes the guys there, but after 6 years, he hasn't been in a relationship yet. though he ever mentioned to me that Long Term relationship is his ultimate goal. Maybe he hasn't found the right one yet, but I figure a guy like him should have someone special in his life as he possess amazing personality and charm. As we went further through our conversation, he had to cut it short because he needed to meet someone after urgently. I wondered could it be another date but then he smiled at me and showed me a picture of a 2 years old on his phone. I was quite stoked as if i were just had a date with a married man. He told me that the son is biologically his and he's not married and he's a single dad. He knew i was gonna ask more questions but he had to run and told me that he would tell me more about his son later. We parted ways and we hugged.<br />
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After the date i felt that i just had a bomb dropped on me. Will i ever be able to date someone with kids was the question that ran through my head all the time that night. Then it came, the butterfly in my stomach, the heart beating faster all night. I think he charmed me to the core that i couldn't stop thinking about him that night. I want him badly but i think the circumstances makes it harder, and I don't know for sure if he's attracted to me and felt the same was as i did.<br />
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I went back to Jakarta in few days time still thinking about him. I then decided to come back there for a second date 2 weeks after the first meet. I told him i'm coming back to meet him and he welcomed the idea, but then he told me this "I should warn you that i'm dating someone now but would still like to hang out with you. I enjoyed your company" Yikes. I think i just felt heartbroken right there. Oh well, After the Aaron drama i think i was stronger than ever but I thought what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger so i proceed with another coffee with him.<br />
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The second time we met, he seemed to be more relaxed and the air between us was cleared. The first time around i was very nervous as i was attracted to him and now we are both know that this was just going to be friendship for us and nothing more. He then told me that he decided to have a baby few years back without going into details, His son was born and he loves being a father. We shared and talked over cheesecake and coffee like two old friends. I asked about the guy that he's seeing. So He made it official with him just after i met him the first time around. So i guess it all changed in few weeks time. I think at that time i couldn't be happier for him and I let go all my feelings.<br />
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After few hours of conversation, it was time to part ways, he dropped me back to my friend's mansion and we promised to keep in touch which we did after i got back in Sydney we had few conversation via whatsapp over the year. I think he knew very much that i was attracted to him but I don't think he felt the same way. I think i have grown over this experience. I think a crush is the sweetest feeling ever, and i'm glad i met him and It turned out to be best if we never had started anyting, except a beautiful friendship.<br />
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WLWilliam Lemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00383929022782338085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3629426579051874860.post-62919512310015752932012-10-27T06:13:00.001+11:002012-10-27T06:13:50.543+11:00This is Jakarta: Oh Inilah Jakarta.. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I had few weeks in Jakarta before the end of my holiday. 3 Weeks of Bali and Gili was enough island holiday for me and Now It was time for me to get back to my former life as big city boy. Jakarta is a city of 12 million people, a city of contrast where the gap between the rich and poor are wide, a city where homosexuality is not criminalized but not well tolerated. This is where i was born and where i lived for 18 years before i moved to Sydney. I had a great upbringing, had received the best of the world to offer to me in the third world. The best education, comfortable living, overseas travel, great friends but all that was nothing with the lack of affection from my parents. They were working hard enough for me to get the best but never saw me growing up. I grew up with nanny, maids and drivers. yeah I was that poor rich boy. Not exactly Richie rich but close enough to always get what i need and what i want. My life is a joke in Sydney compared to my former life where in have to endure discomforts of taking public transportation but all that paid with gaining life skills and independence.<br />
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There are 12 million people living in this city, but it seems like everyone knows everyone. Social statuses are important, connections are the key to everything. gossips are spread around like virus, that makes every action has to be well considered because it might hurt you or someone that you love. People knows everyone's business, Spies are everywhere. This is the land where gossip girl-esque lifestyle is not a fantasy but a reality. I got out of there at the right time, I knew that if i stayed i wouldn't grow and live the superficial lifestyle. Sometimes i missed it, but life in Sydney isn't too bad, keeping it real here and being myself is the reward. I have the chance of living the double life, being the broke happy go lucky student in Sydney and living the shallow life in Jakarta. I must admit living in Jakarta is easy, too easy. Maids and drivers 24/7 attending your needs and everything is possible if you have money and connection. Love it or hate it, i was born with it.<br />
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I was in town for almost 2 months and during that time i didn't get laid but I went on a few dates. My grindr was on the whole time and it was really interesting that there were a lot of guys using it since last year. The app has become so popular that i saw a lot of familiar faces. I had a date with this guy who turned out to be a friend of my best friend's mom. A society figure, we knew each other but never really beyond than hellos. It was a blind date as we didn't post profile picture on grindr, we wanted meaningless sex at first, he told me to get a taxi and pick him up which i did, but when I saw him i thought "Shoot, i know him". So in the cab on the way to the hotel (neither of us could host) it was pretty awkward but we kept it friendly. I knew stuff about about him but he told me some more about him. We had nice conversations, I asked him if rumours about him were true and he said it was, and I shelled out a lot of society gossips of him. Oh well, he has the biggest mouth in town. Once we got to the hotel, we made out but it felt weird so I backed off but we kept continue talking so it was a memorable date. We made sure we kept it discreet, but hopefully he wouldn't tell the whole town about me. So after the whole weird encounter, I told one of my best friend over brunch about it and he said that The guy was nasty and spreading lies about my best friends in the gay circle. Apparently, the circle was so small that everyone knows with each other and sleeps with each other. it makes me sick.<br />
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I've been cautious all these times in Jakarta and still i haven't learnt my lesson. My first ever grindr encounter was with this cute bear few years back and turned out he has slept with people that i know. The second one was a non-sexual date with this charming guy who turned out to be a social climber phony. He used my contacts to get what he wanted, but he failed miserably and his cover was blown. I only had one date with him but he claimed that he knew me for ages and tricked some people. very sickening. Another date turned out to be a friend of a friend, he wasn't as cute as in the picture and we had nothing in common. What's more annoying is sometimes i just randomly bump into these people and i had to awkwardly say hello because we couldn't pretend to not know each other. :-(<br />
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But I guess the cherry on top was with this guy, a Vocal coach. 32 years old, German-chinese mix, who i had 2 dates with. He was cute but really personality wise I couldn't picture myself with him. he found himself very much attracted to me but I couldn't stand his giggles (he giggles in every 5 seconds literally), bad english and bad courting skill. He kept telling me that i have positive energy (repeated 100x times) he said I love you after second date. The second date was a mistake because i was bored, so he suggested a movie. We went to the luxe cinema where they have couches for 2 instead of recliners and a blanket. So we made out and cuddled for the whole movie, but did nothing more. When we were done, I dropped him home and TADAH he turned out to be a neighbor of my childhood friend and they know each other. I was really sick in stomach and decided that i shouldn't see him any longer.<br />
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Another thing about Grindr in Jakarta is that everyone was trying to be as macho and cool which really turned me off so bad. I was laughing my ass off in the morning when a guy sent me a hello by "Pagi bro!" literally means "Morng BRO!" and when i had a chat with him he just kept adding "bro" at the end of each sentences. "yes bro", "no bro". This not only happened to one guy but at least 10 guys that i had chat with. Also Bad English. Not only they're trying to be cool and macho, they're trying to practice their bad english. Most common mistake is that they don't know the difference between "stay" and "live". So when someone ask me where do i stay referring to where i live. Also when i asked them "What are you up to? which is an informal saying of "what are you doing right now?" they replied me back with stuff that they want to do with me, it all got lost in translation as I don't ask them "what are you up for -or- What are you into?" So really i had no idea wether i was amused or frustrated. oh well i was sexually frustrated but enjoying this ridiculous stupidity of Jakarta Gays. Though i've had great chats with some guys with brains and great interests but never met them as most of them are partnered or too busy to meet.<br />
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Oh Jakarta, love it or hate it, it will be always a part of me. The moral of the story in this instalment: "BE VERY CAREFUL WITH PEOPLE THAT YOU MEET ON GRINDR"<br />
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WLWilliam Lemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00383929022782338085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3629426579051874860.post-22078347420278594942012-10-20T06:04:00.003+11:002012-10-20T06:05:04.152+11:00Bali part deux: The Virgin<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhITIRLAx6yLij6Jbi74iX1mv7lWiAa2_B0FGu28XzKrtedmZ2-5j1OlIXE2NEcpwKoc3KISLfumXgqdzK1uqNSi_EpvqihTpukXqgnqEIVp9pc6buXpQXrth9qVjOYXEEYtEkKFwrfOQ/s1600/IMG_0979.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhITIRLAx6yLij6Jbi74iX1mv7lWiAa2_B0FGu28XzKrtedmZ2-5j1OlIXE2NEcpwKoc3KISLfumXgqdzK1uqNSi_EpvqihTpukXqgnqEIVp9pc6buXpQXrth9qVjOYXEEYtEkKFwrfOQ/s320/IMG_0979.JPG" width="320" /></a><span style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;">After Gili Trawangan had only a day left til I was back to Jakarta. During my time there I didn't hook up with anyone, just had random chats with people from all over the country. One guy that caught my attention anB i was chatting with for days lives in bali He's around my age His name is Drew, balinese born chinese background, who moved back from Bali after his studies overseas years ago. When i landed back in Bali, I I've moved on with the asshole and ready for some more adventures. I made a date with Drew that evening. He was eager to meet me so we met at a fashionable restaurant in Seminyak. When i met him he seemed nervous at first but after a drink he seemed to loosened up. He's very cute for an asian, not that i date exclusively other race than mine but Drew caught my attention by his nice smile and worldly intelectual, we could carried on conversation on general stuff for hours but i felt like i needed to dig a little deeper. He mentioned in his chat that he was attracted to me but he also warned me that he's a very shy person. I could tell but we got along just fine, more like two old friends catching up. So I braved myself to ask him more personal question directly but careful and subtle. I asked him if he brought many dates here and he shyly answered a few he said. I couldn't help it but giggled and told him to move places because i wanted this night to be special. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiweqW04XTavUNloPrXv7ICx7JI5uueswCB3L4bmTVGku9XifkgYKSHlnWpI47GLu36ciM2y2QpmsXyLqviHrBEdISr88JDWkAEmmwaGaNBoqXSrtNR2zXXbGw7XwOVm4Dem3ztQUTQSQ/s1600/IMG_0977.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiweqW04XTavUNloPrXv7ICx7JI5uueswCB3L4bmTVGku9XifkgYKSHlnWpI47GLu36ciM2y2QpmsXyLqviHrBEdISr88JDWkAEmmwaGaNBoqXSrtNR2zXXbGw7XwOVm4Dem3ztQUTQSQ/s320/IMG_0977.JPG" width="320" /></a><span style="text-align: center;">So we settled on Metis, one of the best restaurant in Bali for deserts and drinks after our meal. After a change of environment He was more relaxed and opened up to me and I felt more and more attracted to him. I told him my stories and what brought me here today as a gay man, he listened carefully and I asked him "So what brings you here to meet me?" He paused, I knew it was too much for him but i waited for a few seconds for him to answer. I knew he had a story, and seeing him being nervous makes him even more attractive. Then here it went, he told me his story, something that no one had ever heard before. First of all, he's a virgin and never been kissed with anyone. But he had once fell in love. It was in Sydney few years back when he was studying in the university, the same one as mine. He told me that He was in love with his best friend and that was how he knew that he's gay. They were best buddies for years until the best friend found a girl and He couldn't control himself out of jealousy long story short, they fell out of friendship almost the same time he had to go back to Bali. He never told the man he loved how he felt but I guessed for Drew, building his own jail was sort of a remedy. He could never tell anyone his true self, unlike me who has very understanding friends He has no one. So i played the role of therapist that night and i found him even more and more attractive. Our conversation was over passion fruit brulee and some cocktails, i just wanted to kiss him in that moment but i couldn't. He told me more about him, how he met few guys in Bali, some were on holidays and some lived there. He showed me pictures and some i found them cute and some i didn't find them attractive at all. He told me some stories about them, one was a plastic surgeon who was very full of himself, another one was a pushy sissy chubby guy who wanted to meet him but they never did but always texting him, and another one was a sushi chef who was gonna move to bali but they had not met yet, and some were just bad dates. I told him that he's dated a few, he nodded and told me that Grindr changed his life but He was too scared to do anything with them, hook ups was out of the question for him. He wanted "the one" to kiss him, let alone to do anything. My heart sank when i heart that but I felt like i wanted him more. So i shamelessly flited with him but he still couldn't give himself to me. but i knew his weakness but i guess i played that card last. He looked at the watch and it was already late so he needed to drop me back to the hotel because it was past his curfew. On the way to the hotel, i tried all my moves to get him, he was really nervous but soon he gave in his hand to me, we held hands all the way. So i asked him if i could kiss him, he paused and with a lot of thinking he told me that he wanted to but he couldn't, he just wanted us to be friends first and see how far we could develop. But me as a true believer of "The moment" convinced him that I was leaving tomorrow and if he wanted to take the chance it was now. I knew he wanted to kiss me but he was very nervous as no one has ever seduced him this way before. I said to him that i was okay and just take your time and i would never force him to do anything that he wouldn't want to do. he nodded. But I played my last card after finishing that last sentence, I took his hand on my beard and told him, "I couldn't give you a kiss but i knew what you wanted all along" He got exited. I could feel that he was shivering with excitement that he almost hit a motorcycle. Few days back before we agreed to meet he told me that under no circumstances i would shaved off my beard so i agreed to it. He was very attracted to it. Then i guess i played my last card well. I told him to park his car so we could have a proper goodbye., I invited him back to my room but he refused so i told him to follow me to the swimming pool area. It was very dark, so i thought it was the perfect spot to kiss him. I gave him a proper goodbye hug and i could feel that he was shivering nervously, but i could also feel the biggest hard on someone's pants. I felt his face, head-butting him like a cat, slowly seducing him, then his phone rang. It was his mom that he had to answer. FUCK. such a mood killer. he had to go back soon. He apologized that he had to leave now, so i gave him the last hug and he gave me a little peck on the cheek. It was very sweet. So i dropped him back to his car, and before i sent him off i told him that i want to take picture of his t-shirt as a souvenir, and this is what he was wearing</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt3sWtQIcb7BGuED_uC0m3_8TqOwMDnP0m8wr7ea9Qg-4M5mDU5nNOi5rteJKiohcir2PmDIjA2vKv2hysa8REaaHdPRh66ul3ct7Zy29xJTmBWtThzva69zls1Nr9MJnXis7EHhVQhw/s1600/IMG_0980.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt3sWtQIcb7BGuED_uC0m3_8TqOwMDnP0m8wr7ea9Qg-4M5mDU5nNOi5rteJKiohcir2PmDIjA2vKv2hysa8REaaHdPRh66ul3ct7Zy29xJTmBWtThzva69zls1Nr9MJnXis7EHhVQhw/s320/IMG_0980.jpg" width="240" /></a><span style="text-align: center;"><br /></span><span style="text-align: center;">I knew all night what he wanted and i gave it to him. I waved goodbye when he left, I knew i would meet him again in the future. Although i couldn't get take his first ever kiss, It was a great night for both of us. I couldn't help but wonder how could i have such confidence that night, shamelessly seducing a virgin :-P oh well, i guess the prize was too high but along the way i pushed my self to the limit and found a new friend. I got a text from him after half hour telling me how great it was to meet me and we're still keeping in touch now. Maybe i would date him properly in the future, but i guess right now i would want to start anything or give him any expectation that would break his heart. There might be a sequel when i'm back in Bali on Easter next year for my sister's wedding. </span></div>
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William Lemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00383929022782338085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3629426579051874860.post-66039398175548616592012-10-11T02:43:00.001+11:002012-10-11T02:43:34.910+11:00Gili Trawangan: Dancing on My ownGili Trawangan is a paradise on earth. After the <a href="http://writeaboutlovex.blogspot.com.au/2012/07/tales-from-bali-trouble-in-paradise.html">Aaron</a> drama I couldn't sleep just kept wondering what happened exactly. I was extremely upset when i got back to the hotel, it was almost 4 am in the morning and i got a boat ride leaving Bali at 8 am. I felt like crying but really my tears would be wasted for an asshole like him. So i tried to write some emails to my friends, It really made me feel better. Before I left the hotel i've got few reply back and it really made my day that my friends really care about my well beings. The weather was extremely bad and when i got to the seaport, Our boat service has been cancelled. Instead we are flying to Lombok and from there by land and a short boat trip. The flight wouldn't leave until 6pm so we've got almost 8 hours to spare. We went to ubud instead for lunch and back to the airport on time. They trip to Ubud really cleared up my mind. I was extremely tired at that point I didn't sleep at all still upset from The Aaron drama i just wanted to let everything go but with our original plan fell through it seems a little difficult to just move on. Bali traffic didn't help too it made me even more frustrated. What cheered me up a little was the conversation i have with my favourite fuck <a href="http://writeaboutlovex.blogspot.com.au/2012/05/pre-holiday-romps-part1.html">Wally</a> over grindr. he really did cheered me up with his witty conversations about our 2 favorite things, food and sex. Long story short, we got to the airport board the plane, extreme turbulence over the strait, landed safely, 2 hours drive plus 15 minutes boat ride in high tide. We arrived in Gili Trawangan.<br />
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Gili Trawangan is renowned for its cristal clear water and partying. No cars or motorcycle allowed, only bicycle or horse cart ride as mode of transportation. I spent a good night sleep trying to get over what happened and When i woke up i was in completely different mood, totally relaxed and calm. I didn't care much about what happened. I walked along the shore and I saw there are a lot of eye candies there. Hot european boys walking half naked in all directions, I couldn't be more happy than this, Bali was full of bogans and This island offers the hottest guys. I checked on grindr and there was no one online except few people who were in bali or lombok or even in Bandung, more stories on my chats later. I spent my days just walking on the beach, chilling out, eat good food and rest. At night it was a different story, There was a lot of parties going on, Because my companions were not build for partying anymore I spent time alone, i thought drinking alone was really depressing but then again I found it quite enjoyable. Quickly i've made friends with the germans, the french, the spaniards and The Swedes! The Swedes were really nice, On my last night in Gili I partied with them and we sang and dance together. One particular song that really stuck in my head was a song that they requested, really described perfectly my mood. It goes like this "I am in the corner watching you kiss her, oh I'm over here why can't you see me ooh.. I'm giving it all but i'm not the guy you're taking home.. I keep dancing on my own"- It was Robyn's "Dancing on my own". It really described what i felt when Aaron jilted me over a local dude in that bar in bali It took me few days a song to actually get over him and Life goes on and continues. This is the first time in my life that i could actually enjoy being alone and not being dependant on anyone to actually have fun. I had fun drinking alone and dancing alone, And when the swedes were gone i kept dancing til i had enough.<br />
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I spent 4 days in the island and when i left I've had 2 dates lined up in Bali and in Bandung. My island holiday was almost over and I left the island as a new man.William Lemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00383929022782338085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3629426579051874860.post-10054290470419100752012-10-11T02:15:00.001+11:002012-10-11T02:20:05.094+11:00Things Wong Kar Wai taught me about love.<br />
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<h2 class="title" style="color: #464646; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.333; margin: 0px 0px 6px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">THINGS WONG KAR-WAI TAUGHT ME ABOUT LOVE</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">1. Requited love is an impossibility. You will fall in love only once. Obstacles will prevail. The rest of your life is spent recovering.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">2. Anything that distracts you from the pain of your loss is good. Some people are more successful in this regard than others.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">3. Eroticising their objects will be the pinnacle of your sexual fulfillment.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">4. Desire is kept eternally alive by the impossibility of contact.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">5. The most potent way to exist is to occupy someone else’s imagination.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">6. Technology will only heighten your sense of desolation making you more keenly aware that no one is trying to call.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">7. Hook up with someone. Live with them. Sleep with them. Tag along. Don’t be fooled. You are only a transitory distraction. Ask for commitment. Declare your love. Watch the set up evaporate.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">8. Some coincidences are deliberate. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><em>Written by Alice Dallow</em> </span></div>
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<a href="http://beauhaus.tumblr.com/post/31058191123/things-wong-kar-wai-taught-me-about-love-part-2" style="color: #464646; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">THINGS WONG KAR-WAI TAUGHT ME ABOUT LOVE Part.2</span></a></h2>
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<li style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: decimal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> Everyone needs a hole in a tree in which to whisper secrets.</span></li>
<li style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: decimal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Some of my most erotic experiences have been in my imagination.</span></li>
<li style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: decimal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Waiting for someone to become available is the ultimate torture.</span></li>
<li style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: decimal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Most of your life is spent wanting rather than having.</span></li>
<li style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: decimal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The future is a train station named Love</span></li>
<li style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: decimal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Red is the colour of love.</span></li>
<li style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: decimal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Nat “King” Cole is the soundtrack of love.</span></li>
<li style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: decimal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Cigarette smells, in the shape of love, curve towards the light.</span></li>
<li style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: decimal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">27 pears is a banquet.</span></li>
<li style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: decimal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Love is holding hands in a foggy taxi to a symphony of neon</span></li>
<li style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: decimal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The most passionate love doesn’t always end in sex.</span></li>
<li style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: decimal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Everything is temporary.</span></li>
<li style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: decimal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The departure lounge is a rehearsal for when someone leaves you forever.</span></li>
<li style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: decimal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">A hole in a wall is the imprint of unrequited love.</span></li>
<li style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: decimal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Love cannot be captured in an aphorism.</span></li>
</ol>
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">by Ken Chau</span></div>
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<br />William Lemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00383929022782338085noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3629426579051874860.post-50547409819371770082012-10-06T02:37:00.002+10:002012-10-06T02:37:55.070+10:00Tales from Bali part deux. les adventures de William à BaliBefore the whole Aaron drama, I was really all alone. Being sick while on holiday was no fun. Mom and the family was busy with their own thing and i was left alone in the hotel for few days. Maybe i did too much partying, T left after new years and there's nothing i could do really except watching dvds and talking to people on grindr. Once i recovered i felt like going out, alone. maybe just had few drinks at the beach club and checking out the scene. I went to Potato head alone to have their bloody mary and I was surprised that i met my friends from school, so It was a surprised reunion, I hadn't met them for years and It was great to catch up with them. It was a little late and I felt like dancing, and I was hoping to get laid that night, So I was just trying my luck in the gay district. I didn't like going out alone, but It was a good exercise to boost my confidence. It was a night that kind of change my life forever, to have enough confidence for going out alone and not being dependant on friends to have fun. before I left to the bars I had a chat with few people on grindr and one invited me to meet him. He's an indonesian who lives at Perth. So i thought there was nothing wrong to meet a new friend for a drink. I got there with a motorcycle taxi, it was quite common way to beat Bali ridiculously frustrating traffic. When i got there i was looking for my new friend but I couldn't find him. Suddenly there was a guy who approached me. He's an Indonesian guy, pretty tall, dark and built. As a gay man it's quite rare for me to have someone approaching me. He wasn't my type but i guess there was no harm of meeting new people. We talked for a while, asking me where i was from. He was talking to me in broken english and i replied in Indonesian. He thought i was a tourist from taiwan or japan. After a little chit-chat he started to make a little move, even followed me in the bathroom. There he showed his true intentions. While i was washing my hands he hugged me from behind and start rubbing his erect dick against my backside and whispered in my ear in seductive way "If you want this, Rp.500,000 = $50"then he put my hands on his crotch, i can feel his huge dick. This is the first time i ever experience prostitution first hand. I was really intrigued with whole situation but it didn't shocked me. so I made a pass on him and told him that i'm not interested, he got the idea but he quickly moved on from me. Oh well there was plenty of fish in the sea. :p The next thing i saw was shocking me. He made a move on this japanese looking woman who clearly came to a gay bar alone dancing. i saw him doing the same thing to me then I saw them out of the bar together. I guess thing dude will do anything for money, doesn't matter a man or a woman. for him a hole is a hole. I moved to another bar next door, there i saw my online friend waving at me. So i had a chit-chat with him, he was very friendly and he told me that he's on holiday here in Bali, he lives in Perth with his partner, a chubby looking Aussie guy (he showed me their pics on his phone). he told me that they've been together for quite a while and he has a business back in Perth. My new friend also told me that they met in Bali. Their relationship really intrigued me, The sugar daddy provides love and security, and in return my friend becomes his "boy". It kept me wondering that their relationship works. Turned out my new friend was also hitting on me. He likes a big guy like me but i made it clear on him that i just want to be friendly, I told him in a cheeky way that if we hooked up his partner would get jealous. he replied that His partner are not allowed to cheat but he could. haha I quickly finished my 4th bintang and leave to another bar.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bali Joe's</td></tr>
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Outside the bars there were a lot of "ojek" or motorcycle taxi driver waiting around and they were very persistent on getting some customers, i guess their target market are mainly tourists who are drunk enough to get ripped off, and of course i'm not one of them. There was this particular guy who were so persistent on me he asked me where i was staying and he gave me a "good bargain", it was almost $20 hell no i was gonna pay that much. so i refused politely and I didn't want to go home just yet though we had a good chat and reduced it down to half price. I walked to buy some cigarettes at the convenient store across the street. I saw there was this cute white guy drinking beer and hanging out on the steps of the store, he smiled and said hi to me, i smiled back. I paid my cigarettes on my way out i couldn't find my lighter so i asked the cute guy if he could spare me a light. We became an instant buddies that second. He bought a can of heineken and we were chatting for almost an hour. The cute guy's name is Jean-Christophe a DJ, from belgique. He had just moved to Bali for few months doing nothing really but partying. He was an interesting character, cute and very friendly, he's around late 30s but he still acts like it was in the 90s. We discovered that we had the same taste in music and movies. He told me about his misfortune in Bali, got ripped off, robbed and beaten up by thugs, trapped by prostitute and the list continues. nevertheless he loves the island and would live in bali forever. I was fascinated by his stories, also he told me about his dark past as a heroin addict then he got sober from drugs but still an alcoholic, he said the best way to cure an addiction is to switch to another one. He did successfully. He was wondering why i was in the gay district alone, I told him that i got bored but i hated the music there. He felt the same way, the only reason why he was there because his best friend who he moved together with is gay and wanted to check out the scene. then he got bored so he was just drinking in front of the convenient store. He told me that he loves the gays, and He wish that he was gay. but more interestingly he would fuck with his best friend once in a while in his sleep whenever he's horny and couldn't get a pussy. I was just wondering that maybe a hole is a merely a hole, and a man would fuck anything that moves when he's horny. When the conversation turned into sexual, I can feel that he was trying to hit on me and he subtly asked me for a blow job. I refused politely and got away with it. I gave him a big hug and leave, I was smiling after knowing that I met an interesting character and the fact that i would never meet him again ever. I forgot his face by now but still remember what he looked like.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9kB6hxsudWryGQydn44tfmaESeVm4qCDukd8Qb4pZzfhIT2Ir98NGKVY0Z5NxEaHscbFMNzItUAeaQOKJkZtHGcLC4uVvF4i46FhFiTuGDyq8kG-H9QmCWIjqlCV2YWM05UVpYhSf1g/s1600/ojek-by-night+yndonesia.blogspot.com.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9kB6hxsudWryGQydn44tfmaESeVm4qCDukd8Qb4pZzfhIT2Ir98NGKVY0Z5NxEaHscbFMNzItUAeaQOKJkZtHGcLC4uVvF4i46FhFiTuGDyq8kG-H9QmCWIjqlCV2YWM05UVpYhSf1g/s320/ojek-by-night+yndonesia.blogspot.com.jpeg" width="320" /></a>As the tiredness hit, It was time for me to go home, after few hours there i knew that i already made my day instead of being at my horel room. I tried to find a cab home but i couldn't whilst i was waiting for few minutes, the "ojek" driver who gave me bargain came up to me. He was ready to find his last passenger of the night, me. "Toni" gave me great deal to go back to my hotel and he said he would tell me his story on the way. My hotel was in downtown so it took more than 30 minutes to get there. So I was eager to hear his story. He told me that he saw me talking to a white guy and he asked me why i didn't come back to my hotel with him. I told him that i was trying my luck but couldn't find anyone that night and that guy was just what i was looking for. Then he offered me if i would like to try some of his kucings "cats"-gigolo. In my mind, not again!! so i refused politely and told him that i wouldn't pay for sex. He asked me what kind of guys do i like and i said i prefer white guys, He told me that white guys are free but they're hard to get, local boys are easy but they cost varies according to needs.<br />
Then he told me stories about his customers from around the world especially from Australia, Japan and Taiwan. Toni is a sort of pimp who really takes care of his customer, he makes sure that the clients get what they want tailored to what the client's need, for example an effeminate Japanese client would like to get fucked hard by Balinese stud, Toni would make sure that The client would get the biggest cock in the island and gets fucked hard all night long. The client is happy, The whore is happy from the Yen and Toni is happy from the tips also from the "cut" from the negotiated rate, Toni bragged about how much money had he earned by doing this. Toni also makes sure that his whore wouldn't steal from his client as there are a lot of horror stories Toni makes sure that he maintains the best reputation as a pimp and his respectable whores who would satisfy his clients. He also makes sure that his "cats" are disease free and make sure they are wearing condoms with clients.<br />
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Toni also maintained contacts from overseas who would visit him regularly and ask for his service. Also noted that Toni's english is quite good and he wouldn't be having any problem communicating with overseas customer. He told me that a regular customer of him, an Australian bloke cried when Toni dropped him back to the airport, The bloke was touched by how much Toni had looked after him in every way. Toni is not only a motorcycle driver, but he's also a car rental driver/guide sometimes based on clients need. Toni is not a local Balinese, he migrated to Bali for better life and he did and He's very comfortable by Balinese standard. He claimed that he likes the gays not only they are source of Toni's income but also for their gentle souls. I can see that he's a genuine character and also a very good businessman. He loves his gays but he claimed that he's not attracted with another man or slept with one before. Many has offered him money to sleep with him or hit on him hard but Toni loves his wife and wouldn't cheat. He swore to god on this one. I'm not surprised by the fact that so many gays would hit on him, he does have the charm.<br />
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As the destination was getting closer, We also talked about how the island changes by the developments and it's not as safe as before because they're so many thugs from all around the country wouldn't miss the opportunity in Bali. We also talked about the shortage of drugs in Bali during certain time of the year because of the over demand and more police control. For example weed is hardest to get once that readily on the street easily now people would think twice to buy without the chance of getting caught. Of course as a good host, Toni would provide some illegal substance to his clients if they requested. He wouldn't deal but he would try his hardest from his contacts to get them and of course he would get the "cut" from the suppliers.<br />
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I couldn't help but wonder if homosexuality in this island is a blessing in disguise for Toni and people who are working in the gay district. One side of an argument clearly indicates that it is pure exploitation but in the other hand Toni is not a homophobic character who exploits tourists money for his personal gain he clearly understand and mastering the art of customer service, and He clearly did gave me a service from the heart, I was his customer and he gave me what I needed, a ride home and an incredible tale, Toni was a wonderful story teller. As he dropped me off in front of my hotel, We exchange contacts and He makes sure that i have his number and he's always on call for me 24/7. It was a great night for me to hear such amazing stories by amazing people and sure it was an unforgettable moment. For me Toni is really the most interesting people who i met in this holiday and It was a great pleasure to meet such an interesting person like him. I will see him again the next time i'm in Bali and I want to hear more of his amazing stories.William Lemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00383929022782338085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3629426579051874860.post-52019833264052700442012-07-03T21:35:00.000+10:002012-07-03T21:35:06.438+10:00Tales from Bali/ Trouble in Paradise<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Jakarta was a breeze, it was great to catch up with family and friends. Living my other life, the life that i left years ago. Cocktails and fashionable restaurants.. all the glitz and glamour. It's such a contrast from my life in Sydney, a struggling student with limited allowance. Here back home i have daddy's credit card and i can spend away his hard earned cash. Being back home is not a holiday but a reunion. I caught up with all my classmates back from high school and this was the first time in years that we all sit down together and have a reunion. I was in Jakarta for few days, my next destination would be Bali. My sister invited me and my mom to spend holiday with her and her partner. It was also the first time in years that we spent holidays together. Reunited again as family. Daddy was too busy to hang with us. At first i wasn't that keen to spend the holiday with the family but i had fun. My best friend T from Sydney was also in the island by the time i was there. He was also holidaying with his family and family friends. The island was packed with tourists from all over. traffic everywhere. I expected it. I knew it was such a bad timing to go to bali during new years period. Too many tourist traps, prices were inflated by 200% and so many pickpockets around. However it didn't stop me and T from partying. We had great time going to beach clubs and bars in the island including the gay ones. It was our second day and we wanted to check out the scene. I've been to Bali countless of times but never been to their infamous gay bars in Dhyana Pura district. (Bali Joe's, Mixwell) Mr. recommended me to go to his favorite. By the time we got there it was nothing that expected. it was small dirty and sleazy with gogo dancers and drag performances. Not my scene. also BAD BAD MUSIC. it's intolerable. at lest the drinks were cheap. me and T didn't enjoy it at all, but we had fun riding motorcycle taxi and eating good food. We partied almost every night and the highlight of trip was chilling out at potato head beach club and new year's breakfast at la lucciola. T left after new years and left me alone. It was where the real adventure began.<br />
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I checked out grindr as i was bored being left alone in the hotel. i was quite unwell from the constant partying and feeling quite horny I'd love to meet a tourist and have sex. or maybe just a date. I had achat with few guys and so far none was interesting nor interested in me but two. One is an irish guy named Pete, we'd been talking for a week but he flaked out in the last minute of meeting. The second one was Aaron, an Australian from Adelaide. i caught him when i was in Kuteda, sipping cocktails alone suddenly my phone buzzed, a notification from grindr. a cute blonde guy. we chatted for ehile, he was interested in meeting up, so i arranged a date the next day. He was a cute blonde guy, average build, 5'10", very polite and proper. We strolled around kuta, me giving him the tour. He was friendly and attentive, i was interested in him but i thought i was just gonna take it slow. He seemed to be interested, The next day We were texting the whole day, he was flirtatious he used "babe, darling and cutie" So i arranged a meet with him again at night. hoping that i might get lucky that night or maybe a memorable day. He told me to pick him up at Kudeta, where he and his friends had dinner. It was quite late but i wanted to see him, My intention was to kidnap him and had drinks somewhere quiet. When i got there i was introduced to his friends, all nice people. I was also introduced to his gay friend, Troy. he's also very nice. Aaron suggested that the three of us to go to the gay bar. :( I was reluctant, I just wanted to spend time with aaron.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Aaron</td></tr>
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So at the end we went. I knew that i wouldn't had good time there and i had bad feelings about it. When we got there the two tourists was all jumpy and excited. We got our drinks and Aaron who was at first all interested in me was suddenly changed. He was more interested in checking out other guys and enjoying the go-go boys. then the most possible thing happened, They ignored me all night long. I was very upset. Then the local boys were throwing themselves at them. Me as the only asian got ignored again, I guess Bali was a paradise for white men but it was definitely hell for me. Of course to made it worse, the music was really bad. they played Adele for like 10 times throughout the night with horrible gay bar remix. It was hell and I just wanted to get out of there. Aaron and Troy saw me uncomfortable, they didn't cheer me up but kept ignoring me and kept checking local boys out and talking to the staff. It was a different Aaron that i met the night before. We met few people there, including the managers and PRs of Bali Joes and Mixwell. The manager at Mixwell was very nice to me (i forgot his name), and i must say he really took care of me. so that was the highlight from hell. Then we moved to Bali Joe's, We met some guys, a server named Alan and This guy RA, who was sitting next to our table. RA is a model and social climber. He's famous for being friends with the infamous Manohara Pinot. I don't know him personally but he's a friend of a friend. RA was hitting on Troy constantly and He tried to seduce Troy by telling him that he got a 10" dick. I heard it, it was sickening. Aaron was suddenly gone, i was looking for him because RA was uncomfortably trying to get Troy. Then i found Aaron with Alan. talking very intensely, I was very upset. Aaron then told me that he was gonna go home with Alan, I was even more upset. out of the blue, Aaron smooched me on the lips. saying thank you. What the hell. It was pretty late and i wanted to go home. Troy felt exhausted as well, he told me that he wanted to go back to their hotel and rest. RA didn't get Troy as Troy got a boyfriend back home. Aaron went into hiding with Alan and Me and Troy found him making out with Alan. Me and Troy was really concerned about Aaron's safety so we were willing to wait. but Alan wanted to take troy home. Me and Troy was convincing Aaron to go back with us but He seemed blinded by Alan. Alan was also very hostile to me the whole night, he was really bitchy and nasty towards me, Wasn't supposed to be me that should be upset and hostile instead? Before So me and Troy went back home to the hotel, In the cab Troy told me that Aaron just broke up with his partner and he was looking for fun. Not surprised. I told Troy how disappointed i was and He understand.<i> </i>We got to the hotel and Aaron told us to wait for him there, he was gonna take Alan to his hotel. I was just ready to go home, So I booked a cab from their hotel. Once we arrived, I needed to take some cash out for my cab fare. I saw Troy looking exhausted and dehydrated so I bought him a bottle of water. Troy needed to wait til Aaron got back so he was just lounging in the lobby. I said goodbye to Troy once my cab was arrived and Troy was so surprised by my gesture of me buying water for him. He said thanks and goodbye. I was deeply annoyed by the whole thing but i guess it's a lesson for me. an experience. Aaron and Troy added me on facebook soon after, I accepted their friend request and I just wanted to get these things behind us. I guess they're just people and things like this happened. I just have to learn from this and be a better person.<br />
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More holiday stories coming up soon...<br />
<br />William Lemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00383929022782338085noreply@blogger.com0