Saturday, October 27, 2012

This is Jakarta: Oh Inilah Jakarta..

I had few weeks in Jakarta before the end of my holiday. 3 Weeks of Bali and Gili was enough island holiday for me and Now It was time for me to get back to my former life as big city boy. Jakarta is a city of 12 million people, a city of contrast where the gap between the rich and poor are wide, a city where homosexuality is not criminalized but not well tolerated. This is where i was born and where i lived for 18 years before i moved to Sydney. I had a great upbringing, had received the best of the world to offer to me in the third world. The best education, comfortable living, overseas travel, great friends but all that was nothing with the lack of affection from my parents. They were working hard enough for me to get the best but never saw me growing up. I grew up with nanny, maids and drivers. yeah I was that poor rich boy. Not exactly Richie rich but close enough to always get what i need and what i want. My life is a joke in Sydney compared to my former life where in have to endure discomforts of taking public transportation but all that paid with gaining life skills and independence.

There are 12 million people living in this city, but it seems like everyone knows everyone. Social statuses are important, connections are the key to everything. gossips are spread around like virus, that makes every action has to be well considered because it might hurt you or someone that you love. People knows everyone's business, Spies are everywhere. This is the land where gossip girl-esque lifestyle is not a fantasy but a reality. I got out of there at the right time, I knew that if i stayed i wouldn't  grow and live the superficial lifestyle. Sometimes i missed it, but life in Sydney isn't too bad, keeping it real here and being myself is the reward. I have the chance of living the double life, being the broke happy go lucky student in Sydney and living the shallow life in Jakarta. I must admit living in Jakarta is easy, too easy. Maids and drivers 24/7 attending your needs and everything is possible if you have money and connection. Love it or hate it, i was born with it.

I was in town for almost 2 months and during that time i didn't get laid but I went on a few dates. My grindr was on the whole time and it was really interesting that there were a lot of guys using it since last year. The app has become so popular that i saw a lot of familiar faces. I had a date with this guy who turned out to be a friend of my best friend's mom. A society figure, we knew each other but never really   beyond than hellos. It was a blind date as we didn't post profile picture on grindr, we wanted meaningless sex at first, he told me to get a taxi and pick him up which i did, but when I saw him i thought "Shoot, i know him". So in the cab on the way to the hotel (neither of us could host) it was pretty awkward but we kept it friendly. I knew stuff about about him but he told me some more about him. We had nice conversations, I asked him if rumours about him were true and he said it was, and I shelled out a lot of society gossips of him. Oh well, he has the biggest mouth in town. Once we got to the hotel, we made out but it felt weird so I backed off but we kept continue talking so it was a memorable date. We made sure we kept it discreet, but hopefully he wouldn't tell the whole town about me. So after the whole weird encounter, I told one of my best friend over brunch about it and he said that The guy was nasty and spreading lies about my best friends in the gay circle. Apparently, the circle was so small that everyone knows with each other and sleeps with each other. it makes me sick.

I've been cautious all these times in Jakarta and still i haven't learnt my lesson. My first ever grindr encounter was with this cute bear  few years back and turned out he has slept with people that i know. The second one was a non-sexual date with this charming guy who turned out to be a social climber phony. He used my contacts to get what he wanted, but he failed miserably and his cover was blown. I only had one date with him but he claimed that he knew me for ages and tricked some people. very sickening. Another date turned out to be a friend of a friend, he wasn't as cute as in the picture and we had nothing in common. What's more annoying is sometimes i just randomly bump into these people and i had to awkwardly say hello because we couldn't pretend to not know each other. :-(

But I guess the cherry on top was with this guy, a Vocal coach. 32 years old, German-chinese mix, who i had 2 dates with. He was cute but really personality wise I couldn't picture myself with him. he found himself very much attracted to me but I couldn't stand his giggles (he giggles in every 5 seconds literally), bad english and bad courting skill. He kept telling me that i have positive energy (repeated 100x times) he said I love you after second date. The second date was a mistake because i was bored, so he suggested a movie. We went to the luxe cinema where they have couches for 2 instead of recliners and a blanket. So we made out and cuddled for the whole movie, but did nothing more. When we were done, I dropped him home and TADAH he turned out to be a neighbor of my childhood friend and they know each other. I was really sick in stomach and decided that i shouldn't see him any longer.

Another thing about Grindr in Jakarta is that everyone was trying to be as macho and cool which really turned me off so bad. I was laughing my ass off in the morning when a guy sent me a hello by "Pagi bro!" literally means "Morng BRO!" and when i had a chat with him he just kept adding "bro" at the end of each sentences. "yes bro", "no bro". This not only happened to one guy but at least 10 guys that i had chat with. Also Bad English. Not only they're trying to be cool and macho, they're trying to practice their bad english. Most common mistake is that they don't know the difference between "stay" and "live". So when someone ask me where do i stay referring to where i live. Also when i asked them "What are you up to? which is an informal saying of "what are you doing right now?" they replied me back with stuff that they want to do with me, it all got lost in translation as I don't ask them "what are you up for -or- What are you into?" So really i had no idea wether i was amused or frustrated. oh well i was sexually frustrated but enjoying this ridiculous stupidity of Jakarta Gays. Though i've had great chats with some guys with brains and great interests but never met them as most of them are partnered or too busy to meet.

Oh Jakarta, love it or hate it, it will be always a part of me. The moral of the story in this instalment: "BE VERY CAREFUL WITH PEOPLE THAT YOU MEET ON GRINDR"


Saturday, October 20, 2012

Bali part deux: The Virgin

After Gili Trawangan had only a day left til I was back to Jakarta. During my time there I didn't hook up with anyone, just had random chats with people from all over the country. One guy that caught my attention anB i was chatting with for days lives in bali He's around my age His name is Drew, balinese born chinese background, who moved back from Bali after his studies overseas years ago. When i landed back in Bali, I I've moved on with the asshole and ready for some more adventures. I made a date with Drew that evening. He was eager to meet me so we met at a fashionable restaurant in Seminyak. When i met him he seemed nervous at first but after a drink he seemed to loosened up. He's very cute for an asian, not that i date exclusively other race than mine but Drew caught my attention by his nice smile and worldly intelectual, we could carried on conversation on general stuff for hours but i felt like i needed to dig a little deeper. He mentioned in his chat that he was attracted to me but he also warned me that he's a very shy person. I could tell but we got along just fine, more like two old friends catching up. So I braved myself to ask him more personal question directly but careful and subtle. I asked him if he brought many dates here and he shyly answered a few he said. I couldn't help it but giggled and told him to move places because i wanted this night to be special. 

So we settled on Metis, one of the best restaurant in Bali for deserts and drinks after our meal. After a change of environment He was more relaxed and opened up to me and I felt more and more attracted to him. I told him my stories and what brought me here today as a gay man, he listened carefully and I asked him "So what brings you here to meet me?" He paused, I knew it was too much for him but i waited for a few seconds for him to answer. I knew he had a story, and seeing him being nervous makes him even more attractive. Then here it went, he told me his story, something that no one had ever heard before. First of all, he's a virgin and never been kissed with anyone. But he had once fell in love. It was in Sydney few years back when he was studying in the university, the same one as mine. He told me that He was in love with his best friend and that was how he knew that he's gay. They were best buddies for years until the best friend found a girl and He couldn't control himself out of jealousy long story short, they fell out of friendship almost the same time he had to go back to Bali. He never told the man he loved how he felt but I guessed for Drew, building his own jail was sort of a remedy. He could never tell anyone his true self, unlike me who has very understanding friends He has no one. So i played the role of therapist that night and i found him even more and more attractive. Our conversation was over passion fruit brulee and some cocktails, i just wanted to kiss him in that moment but i couldn't. He told me more about him, how he met few guys in Bali, some were on holidays and some lived there. He showed me pictures and some i found them cute and some i didn't find them attractive at all. He told me some stories about them, one was a plastic surgeon who was very full of himself, another one was a pushy sissy chubby guy who wanted to meet him but they never did but always texting him, and another one was a sushi chef who was gonna move to bali but they had not met yet, and some were just bad dates. I told him that he's dated a few, he nodded and told me that Grindr changed his life but He was too scared to do anything with them, hook ups was out of the question for him. He wanted "the one" to kiss him, let alone to do anything. My heart sank when i heart that but I felt like i wanted him more. So i shamelessly flited with him but he still couldn't give himself to me. but i knew his weakness but i guess i played that card last. He looked at the watch and it was already late so he needed to drop me back to the hotel because it was past his curfew. On the way to the hotel, i tried all my moves to get him, he was really nervous but soon he gave in his hand to me, we held hands all the way. So i asked him if i could kiss him, he paused and with a lot of thinking he told me that he wanted to but he couldn't, he just wanted us to be friends first and see how far we could develop. But me as a true believer of "The moment" convinced him that I was leaving tomorrow and if he wanted to take the chance it was now. I knew he wanted to kiss me but he was very nervous as no one has ever seduced him this way before. I said to him that i was okay and just take your time and i would never force him to do anything that he wouldn't want to do. he nodded. But I played my last card after finishing that last sentence, I took his hand on my beard and told him, "I couldn't give you a kiss but i knew what you wanted all along" He got exited. I could feel that he was shivering with excitement that he almost hit a motorcycle. Few days back before we agreed to meet he told me that under no circumstances i would shaved off my beard so i agreed to it. He was very attracted to it. Then i guess i played my last card well. I told him to park his car so we could have a proper goodbye., I invited him back to my room but he refused so i told him to follow me to the swimming pool area. It was very dark, so i thought it was the perfect spot to kiss him. I gave him a proper goodbye hug and i could feel that he was shivering nervously, but i could also feel the biggest hard on someone's pants. I felt his face, head-butting him like a cat, slowly seducing him, then his phone rang. It was his mom that he had to answer. FUCK. such a mood killer. he had to go back soon. He apologized that he had to leave now, so i gave him the last hug and he gave me a little peck on the cheek. It was very sweet. So i dropped him back to his car, and before i sent him off i told him that i want to take picture of his t-shirt as a souvenir, and this is what he was wearing

I knew all night what he wanted and i gave it to him. I waved goodbye when he left, I knew i would meet him again in the future. Although i couldn't get take his first ever kiss, It was a great night for both of us. I couldn't help but wonder how could i have such confidence that night, shamelessly seducing a virgin :-P oh well, i guess the prize was too high but along the way i pushed my self to the limit and found a new friend. I got a text from him after half hour telling me how great it was to meet me and we're still keeping in touch now. Maybe i would date him properly in the future, but i guess right now i would want to start anything or give him any expectation that would break his heart. There might be a sequel when i'm back in Bali on Easter next year for my sister's wedding.  

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Gili Trawangan: Dancing on My own

Gili Trawangan is a paradise on earth. After the Aaron drama I couldn't sleep just kept wondering what happened exactly. I was extremely upset when i got back to the hotel, it was almost 4 am in the morning and i got a boat ride leaving Bali at 8 am. I felt like crying but really my tears would be wasted for an asshole like him. So i tried to write some emails to my friends, It really made me feel better. Before I left the hotel i've got few reply back and it really made my day that my friends really care about my well beings. The weather was extremely bad and when i got to the seaport, Our boat service has been cancelled. Instead we are flying to Lombok and from there by land and a short boat trip. The flight wouldn't leave until 6pm so we've got almost 8 hours to spare. We went to ubud instead for lunch and back to the airport on time. They trip to Ubud really cleared up my mind. I was extremely tired at that point I didn't sleep at all still upset from The Aaron drama i just wanted to let everything go but with our original plan fell through it seems a little difficult to just move on. Bali traffic didn't help too it made me even more frustrated. What cheered me up a little was the conversation i have with my favourite fuck Wally over grindr. he really did cheered me up with his witty conversations about our 2 favorite things, food and sex. Long story short, we got to the airport board the plane, extreme turbulence over the strait, landed safely, 2 hours drive plus 15 minutes boat ride in high tide. We arrived in Gili Trawangan.

Gili Trawangan is renowned for its cristal clear water and partying. No cars or motorcycle allowed, only bicycle or horse cart ride as mode of transportation. I spent a good night sleep trying to get over what happened and When i woke up i was in completely different mood, totally relaxed and calm. I didn't care much about what happened. I walked along the shore and I saw there are a lot of eye candies there. Hot european boys walking half naked in all directions, I couldn't be more happy than this, Bali was full of bogans and This island offers the hottest guys. I checked on grindr and there was no one online except few people who were in bali or lombok or even in Bandung, more stories on my chats later. I spent my days just walking on the beach, chilling out, eat good food and rest. At night it was a different story, There was a lot of parties going on, Because my companions were not build for partying anymore I spent time alone, i thought drinking alone was really depressing but then again I found it quite enjoyable. Quickly i've made friends with the germans, the french, the spaniards and The Swedes! The Swedes were really nice, On my last night in Gili I partied with them and we sang and dance together. One particular song that really stuck in my head was a song that they requested, really described perfectly my mood. It goes like this "I am in the corner watching you kiss her, oh I'm over here why can't you see me ooh.. I'm giving it all but i'm not the guy you're taking home.. I keep dancing on my own"- It was Robyn's "Dancing on my own". It really described what i felt when Aaron jilted me over a local dude in that bar in bali  It took me few days a song to actually get over him and Life goes on and continues. This is the first time in my life that i could actually enjoy being alone and not being dependant on anyone to actually have fun. I had fun drinking alone and dancing alone, And when the swedes were gone i kept dancing til i had enough.

I spent 4 days in the island and when i left I've had 2 dates lined up in Bali and in Bandung. My island holiday was almost over and I left the island as a new man.

Things Wong Kar Wai taught me about love.


1. Requited love is an impossibility. You will fall in love only once. Obstacles will prevail. The rest of your life is spent recovering.
2. Anything that distracts you from the pain of your loss is good. Some people are more successful in this regard than others.
3. Eroticising their objects will be the pinnacle of your sexual fulfillment.
4. Desire is kept eternally alive by the impossibility of contact.
5. The most potent way to exist is to occupy someone else’s imagination.
6. Technology will only heighten your sense of desolation making you more keenly aware that no one is trying to call.
7. Hook up with someone. Live with them. Sleep with them. Tag along. Don’t be fooled. You are only a transitory distraction. Ask for commitment. Declare your love. Watch the set up evaporate.
8. Some coincidences are deliberate. 
Written by Alice Dallow  


  1.  Everyone needs a hole in a tree in which to whisper secrets.
  2. Some of my most erotic experiences have been in my imagination.
  3. Waiting for someone to become available is the ultimate torture.
  4. Most of your life is spent wanting rather than having.
  5. The future is a train station named Love
  6. Red is the colour of love.
  7. Nat “King” Cole is the soundtrack of love.
  8. Cigarette smells, in the shape of love, curve towards the light.
  9. 27 pears is a banquet.
  10. Love is holding hands in a foggy taxi to a symphony of neon
  11. The most passionate love doesn’t always end in sex.
  12. Everything is temporary.
  13. The departure lounge is a rehearsal for when someone leaves you forever.
  14. A hole in a wall is the imprint of unrequited love.
  15. Love cannot be captured in an aphorism.
by Ken Chau

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Tales from Bali part deux. les adventures de William à Bali

Before the whole Aaron drama, I was really all alone. Being sick while on holiday was no fun. Mom and the family was busy with their own thing and i was left alone in the hotel for few days. Maybe i did too much partying, T left after new years and there's nothing i could do really except watching dvds and talking to people on grindr. Once i recovered i felt like going out, alone. maybe just had few drinks at the beach club and checking out the scene. I went to Potato head alone to have their bloody mary and I was surprised that i met my friends from school, so It was a surprised reunion, I hadn't met them for years and It was great to catch up with them. It was a little late and I felt like dancing, and I was hoping to get laid that night, So I was just trying my luck in the gay district. I didn't like going out alone, but It was a good exercise to boost my confidence. It was a night that kind of change my life forever, to have enough confidence for going out alone and not being dependant on friends to have fun. before I left to the bars I had a chat with few people on grindr and one invited me to meet him. He's an indonesian who lives at Perth. So i thought there was nothing wrong to meet a new friend for a drink. I got there with a motorcycle taxi, it was quite common way to beat Bali ridiculously frustrating traffic. When i got there i was looking for my new friend but I couldn't find him. Suddenly there was a guy who approached me. He's an Indonesian guy, pretty tall, dark and built. As a gay man it's quite rare for me to have someone approaching me. He wasn't my type but i guess there was no harm of meeting new people. We talked for a while, asking me where i was from. He was talking to me in broken english and i replied in Indonesian. He thought i was a tourist from taiwan or japan. After a little chit-chat he started to make a little move, even followed me in the bathroom. There he showed his true intentions. While i was washing my hands he hugged me from behind and start rubbing his erect dick against my backside and whispered in my ear in seductive way "If you want this, Rp.500,000 = $50"then he put my hands on his crotch, i can feel his huge dick. This is the first time i ever experience prostitution first hand. I was really intrigued with whole situation but it didn't shocked me. so I made a pass on him and told him that i'm not interested, he got the idea but he quickly moved on from me. Oh well there was plenty of fish in the sea. :p  The next thing i saw was shocking me. He made a move on this japanese looking woman who clearly came to a gay bar alone dancing. i saw him doing the same thing to me then I saw them out of the bar together. I guess thing dude will do anything for money, doesn't matter a man or a woman. for him a hole is a hole. I moved to another bar next door, there i saw my online friend waving at me. So i had a chit-chat with him, he was very friendly and he told me that he's on holiday here in Bali, he lives in Perth with his partner, a chubby looking Aussie guy (he showed me their pics on his phone). he told me that they've been together for quite a while and he has a business back in Perth. My new friend also told me that they met in Bali. Their relationship really intrigued me, The sugar daddy provides love and security, and in return my friend becomes his "boy". It kept me wondering that their relationship works. Turned out my new friend was also hitting on me. He likes a big guy like me but i made it clear on him that i just want to be friendly, I told him in a cheeky way that if we hooked up his partner would get jealous. he replied that His partner are not allowed to cheat but he could. haha I quickly finished my 4th bintang and leave to another bar.

Bali Joe's
Outside the bars there were a lot of "ojek" or motorcycle taxi driver waiting around and they were very persistent on getting some customers, i guess their target market are mainly tourists who are drunk enough to get ripped off, and of course i'm not one of them. There was this particular guy who were so persistent on me he asked me where i was staying and he gave me a "good bargain", it was almost $20 hell no i was gonna pay that much. so i refused politely and I didn't want to go home just yet though we had a good chat and reduced it down to half price. I walked to buy some cigarettes at the convenient store across the street. I saw there was this cute white guy drinking beer and hanging out on the steps of the store, he smiled and said hi to me, i smiled back. I paid my cigarettes on my way out i couldn't find my lighter so i asked the cute guy if he could spare me a light. We became an instant buddies that second. He bought a can of heineken and we were chatting for almost an hour. The cute guy's name is Jean-Christophe a DJ, from belgique. He had just moved to Bali for few months doing nothing really but partying. He was an interesting character, cute and very friendly, he's around late 30s but he still acts like it was in the 90s. We discovered that we had the same taste in music and movies. He told me about his misfortune in Bali, got ripped off, robbed and beaten up by thugs, trapped by prostitute and the list continues. nevertheless he loves the island and would live in bali forever. I was fascinated by his stories, also he told me about his dark past as a heroin addict then he got sober from drugs but still an alcoholic, he said the best way to cure an addiction is to switch to another one. He did successfully. He was wondering why i was in the gay district alone, I told him that i got bored but i hated the music there. He felt the same way, the only reason why he was there because his best friend who he moved together with is gay and wanted to check out the scene. then he got bored so he was just drinking in front of the convenient store. He told me that he loves the gays, and He wish that he was gay. but more interestingly he would fuck with his best friend once in a while in his sleep whenever he's horny and couldn't get a pussy. I was just wondering that maybe a hole is a merely a hole, and a man would fuck anything that moves when he's horny. When the conversation turned into sexual, I can feel that he was trying to hit on me and he subtly asked me for a blow job. I refused politely and got away with it. I gave him a big hug and leave, I was smiling after knowing that I met an interesting character and the fact that i would never meet him again ever. I forgot his face by now but still remember what he looked like.

As the tiredness hit, It was time for me to go home, after few hours there i knew that i already made my day instead of being at my horel room. I tried to find a cab home but i couldn't whilst i was waiting for few minutes, the "ojek" driver who gave me bargain came up to me. He was ready to find his last passenger of the night, me. "Toni" gave me great deal to go back to my hotel and he said he would tell me his story on the way. My hotel was in downtown so it took more than 30 minutes to get there. So I was eager to hear his story. He told me that he saw me talking to a white guy and he asked me why i didn't come back to my hotel with him. I told him that i was trying my luck but couldn't find anyone that night and that guy was just what i was looking for. Then he offered me if i would like to try some of his kucings "cats"-gigolo. In my mind, not again!! so i refused politely and told him that i wouldn't pay for sex. He asked me what kind of guys do i like and i said i prefer white guys, He told me that white guys are free but they're hard to get, local boys are easy but they cost varies according to needs.
Then he told me stories about his customers from around the world especially from Australia, Japan and Taiwan. Toni is a sort of pimp who really takes care of his customer, he makes sure that the clients get what they want tailored to what the client's need, for example an effeminate Japanese client would like to get fucked hard by Balinese stud, Toni would make sure that The client would get the biggest cock in the island and gets fucked hard all night long. The client is happy, The whore is happy from the Yen and Toni is happy from the tips also from the "cut" from the negotiated rate, Toni bragged about how much money had he earned by doing this. Toni also makes sure that his whore wouldn't steal from his client as there are a lot of horror stories Toni makes sure that he maintains the best reputation as a pimp and his respectable whores who would satisfy his clients. He also makes sure that his "cats" are disease free and make sure they are wearing condoms with clients.

Toni also maintained contacts from overseas who would visit him regularly and ask for his service. Also noted that Toni's english is quite good and he wouldn't be having any problem communicating with overseas customer. He told me that a regular customer of him, an Australian bloke cried when Toni dropped him back to the airport, The bloke was touched by how much Toni had looked after him in every way. Toni is not only a motorcycle driver, but he's also a car rental driver/guide sometimes based on clients need. Toni is not a local Balinese, he migrated to Bali for better life and he did and He's very comfortable by Balinese standard. He claimed that he likes the gays not only they are source of Toni's income but also for their gentle souls. I can see that he's a genuine character and also a very good businessman. He loves his gays but he claimed that he's not attracted with another man or slept with one before. Many has offered him money to sleep with him or hit on him hard but Toni loves his wife and wouldn't cheat. He swore to god on this one. I'm not surprised by the fact that so many gays would hit on him, he does have the charm.

As the destination was getting closer, We also talked about how the island changes by the developments and it's not as safe as before because they're so many thugs from all around the country wouldn't miss the opportunity in Bali. We also talked about the shortage of drugs in Bali during certain time of the year because of the over demand and more police control. For example weed is hardest to get once that readily on the street easily now people would think twice to buy without the chance of getting caught. Of course as a good host, Toni would provide some illegal substance to his clients if they requested. He wouldn't deal but he would try his hardest from his contacts to get them and of course he would get the "cut" from the suppliers.

I couldn't help but wonder if homosexuality in this island is a blessing in disguise for Toni and people who are working in the gay district. One side of an argument clearly indicates that it is pure exploitation but in the other hand Toni is not a homophobic character who exploits tourists money for his personal gain he clearly understand and mastering the art of customer service, and He clearly did gave me a service from the heart, I was his customer and he gave me what I needed, a ride home and an incredible tale, Toni was a wonderful story teller. As he dropped me off in front of my hotel, We exchange contacts and He makes sure that i have his number and he's always on call for me 24/7. It was a great night for me to hear such amazing stories by amazing people and sure it was an unforgettable moment. For me Toni is really the most interesting people who i met in this holiday and It was a great pleasure to meet such an interesting person like him. I will see him again the next time i'm in Bali and I want to hear more of his amazing stories.