Saturday, October 27, 2012

This is Jakarta: Oh Inilah Jakarta..

I had few weeks in Jakarta before the end of my holiday. 3 Weeks of Bali and Gili was enough island holiday for me and Now It was time for me to get back to my former life as big city boy. Jakarta is a city of 12 million people, a city of contrast where the gap between the rich and poor are wide, a city where homosexuality is not criminalized but not well tolerated. This is where i was born and where i lived for 18 years before i moved to Sydney. I had a great upbringing, had received the best of the world to offer to me in the third world. The best education, comfortable living, overseas travel, great friends but all that was nothing with the lack of affection from my parents. They were working hard enough for me to get the best but never saw me growing up. I grew up with nanny, maids and drivers. yeah I was that poor rich boy. Not exactly Richie rich but close enough to always get what i need and what i want. My life is a joke in Sydney compared to my former life where in have to endure discomforts of taking public transportation but all that paid with gaining life skills and independence.

There are 12 million people living in this city, but it seems like everyone knows everyone. Social statuses are important, connections are the key to everything. gossips are spread around like virus, that makes every action has to be well considered because it might hurt you or someone that you love. People knows everyone's business, Spies are everywhere. This is the land where gossip girl-esque lifestyle is not a fantasy but a reality. I got out of there at the right time, I knew that if i stayed i wouldn't  grow and live the superficial lifestyle. Sometimes i missed it, but life in Sydney isn't too bad, keeping it real here and being myself is the reward. I have the chance of living the double life, being the broke happy go lucky student in Sydney and living the shallow life in Jakarta. I must admit living in Jakarta is easy, too easy. Maids and drivers 24/7 attending your needs and everything is possible if you have money and connection. Love it or hate it, i was born with it.

I was in town for almost 2 months and during that time i didn't get laid but I went on a few dates. My grindr was on the whole time and it was really interesting that there were a lot of guys using it since last year. The app has become so popular that i saw a lot of familiar faces. I had a date with this guy who turned out to be a friend of my best friend's mom. A society figure, we knew each other but never really   beyond than hellos. It was a blind date as we didn't post profile picture on grindr, we wanted meaningless sex at first, he told me to get a taxi and pick him up which i did, but when I saw him i thought "Shoot, i know him". So in the cab on the way to the hotel (neither of us could host) it was pretty awkward but we kept it friendly. I knew stuff about about him but he told me some more about him. We had nice conversations, I asked him if rumours about him were true and he said it was, and I shelled out a lot of society gossips of him. Oh well, he has the biggest mouth in town. Once we got to the hotel, we made out but it felt weird so I backed off but we kept continue talking so it was a memorable date. We made sure we kept it discreet, but hopefully he wouldn't tell the whole town about me. So after the whole weird encounter, I told one of my best friend over brunch about it and he said that The guy was nasty and spreading lies about my best friends in the gay circle. Apparently, the circle was so small that everyone knows with each other and sleeps with each other. it makes me sick.

I've been cautious all these times in Jakarta and still i haven't learnt my lesson. My first ever grindr encounter was with this cute bear  few years back and turned out he has slept with people that i know. The second one was a non-sexual date with this charming guy who turned out to be a social climber phony. He used my contacts to get what he wanted, but he failed miserably and his cover was blown. I only had one date with him but he claimed that he knew me for ages and tricked some people. very sickening. Another date turned out to be a friend of a friend, he wasn't as cute as in the picture and we had nothing in common. What's more annoying is sometimes i just randomly bump into these people and i had to awkwardly say hello because we couldn't pretend to not know each other. :-(

But I guess the cherry on top was with this guy, a Vocal coach. 32 years old, German-chinese mix, who i had 2 dates with. He was cute but really personality wise I couldn't picture myself with him. he found himself very much attracted to me but I couldn't stand his giggles (he giggles in every 5 seconds literally), bad english and bad courting skill. He kept telling me that i have positive energy (repeated 100x times) he said I love you after second date. The second date was a mistake because i was bored, so he suggested a movie. We went to the luxe cinema where they have couches for 2 instead of recliners and a blanket. So we made out and cuddled for the whole movie, but did nothing more. When we were done, I dropped him home and TADAH he turned out to be a neighbor of my childhood friend and they know each other. I was really sick in stomach and decided that i shouldn't see him any longer.

Another thing about Grindr in Jakarta is that everyone was trying to be as macho and cool which really turned me off so bad. I was laughing my ass off in the morning when a guy sent me a hello by "Pagi bro!" literally means "Morng BRO!" and when i had a chat with him he just kept adding "bro" at the end of each sentences. "yes bro", "no bro". This not only happened to one guy but at least 10 guys that i had chat with. Also Bad English. Not only they're trying to be cool and macho, they're trying to practice their bad english. Most common mistake is that they don't know the difference between "stay" and "live". So when someone ask me where do i stay referring to where i live. Also when i asked them "What are you up to? which is an informal saying of "what are you doing right now?" they replied me back with stuff that they want to do with me, it all got lost in translation as I don't ask them "what are you up for -or- What are you into?" So really i had no idea wether i was amused or frustrated. oh well i was sexually frustrated but enjoying this ridiculous stupidity of Jakarta Gays. Though i've had great chats with some guys with brains and great interests but never met them as most of them are partnered or too busy to meet.

Oh Jakarta, love it or hate it, it will be always a part of me. The moral of the story in this instalment: "BE VERY CAREFUL WITH PEOPLE THAT YOU MEET ON GRINDR"



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