He's just not that into me
I get that a lot of times when somebody take me out on a date (in any context) and i certainly feels that he's just not that into me therefore we won't communicate more than our first meeting. I never have any hard feelings towards it but it always annoys me for a few days or weeks but always get over it quick. In a harsh gay dating world when you give someone a message only 10% of all the message that you send is replied by your potential dates. He might reply suggesting to chat further or meeting up or just a simple rejection letter. "Sorry, but i am not interested". Or the third option, he might block you. Which one is worst? rejection letter or no reply or being blocked? I think being blocked is the worst, yet rejection letter and no reply action are not as bad but it kills your confidence. That's just the first part of the harsh gay dating world. It wasted time and effort, or possibly heart. The first time i get the rejection letter or being blocked i was so surprised. Turns out i realized that to survive the dating game in this city I have to be someone that i'm not. I'm not that tall, definitely not skinny posses this certain look, act this certain way, belong to a certain race. Although some believe that opposite attracts but I figure that in this city they date or fuck with the mirror image of themselves. Let say if you are are a little overweight and don't belong in a majority race your chance on finding dates are really small. unless you find some niche which i have but still harder than normal average people. I have been on some dates where i am 100% sure that the guy will never contact me back because i know that he's just not that into me. Most of the time i weren't into them either so why bother putting more effort into waste.
When i was younger, let's say 21 years old. I just found out about the gay world. it was liberating, to have something new, beyond my sheltered life. I knew from such an early age i was into older guys. But most of the people out there are ageist. they would tell me off that i was too young.
Now when i got older, i guess the table a little bit turned. most guys these days aren't looking for someone my age. i wonder why.
Rejection is hard. but i guess i learnt it from time to time.
to to accept the fact that i cannot change and accept the change within myself.
Should i be a different person? why is it so hard to find someone who will accept me for whoever i am. beyond looks, personality, wealth, etc. I am getting tired with all of these nonsense.
Maybe if i transformed myself into a different persona, at least people would look at me differently. yet i might just killed someone, someone who is me.