Tuesday, November 9, 2010


I try not to be desperate, but i couldn't even predict when will i have a boyfriend. I know my own problem. I couldn't define yet what i want and what i need now. My best friend S once told me, "I've always seen you alone, and I always think of you of a single guy" Her thought of me made me really think and longing for something that i've never experienced before. The four letter words. LOVE. and someone that i can proudly call my boyfriend or my partner.
I will never put too much pressure to myself to get a boyfriend but one night stands and fun with different guy every couple of weeks does get very tiring. I see too many people at the same time. Those guys never want something serious, i guess like me either they have never experienced love before or they don't want the hassle and or have got hurt before. I appreciate all the reasons, and A little bit of fun never hurt me, well, only once where we try to took it further.
When will get myself a boyfriend, it will become a mystery. Some part of me really want someone, and experience and explore something that i haven't experience before. but some part of me doesn't want all the hassle. I identify of all my friend's problem very quickly i and i always find them the right solution but i get turned off and scared by their experience. It should be worth it, i should not be ignorant, i should try everything, AT LEAST once. just like drugs. and people always said that love is a drug, you will get high and get addicted al the time, even though it's painful and excruciating. I need to anticipate that. There's never be a right timing for this.
So when i ask myself when, i should answer: Only time can tell.


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