Him

I should ask myself if i miss him. Yes and No. Yes because i wanted to meet him again and No because I have threw away all my expectations towards him and starting fresh. Why i want to meet him, is it because i wanted to tell him how i feel? Will it be a problem of being honest. or maybe honesty is not the best policy? should i just play it cool or do a little revenge and being hot and cold.No, being hot and cold is not my style. I have turned down couple of guys and being rude to them after spending time with them and I guess i have to take my karma because of it.

I asked my best friend, and i sent her my conversations with mr.big. She told me that i made the wrong move to actually ask him to meet up. but i assured her that I won't sleep with him. then i asked her again, what would she do if she was in my situation. She told me to just leave it. and let it pass. I know it will pass if i leave if, but I will never know the answer before i give it a go. She told me that in our conversation, It seems that i was into him, well, i guess we were being polite to each other and I swear that i was being a bit cold, i didn't know why. Or maybe i shouldn't answer his hi and just closed the chat windows. That is something that i will regret. Well, at least he updated me something about his life, which is good. But how would i give him an update about my life, tell him that i'm a mess, and i've been seeing a councillor, and I write a blog as a therapy? No way. Well i should tell him the truth, or at least a portion of the truth. and see how t goes. It's 7.24pm and he hasn't called me back yet. If he doesn't call then i shouldn't expect much from him again. I'm not desperate for love, but it be nice to find and keep it.

WL