Joe

Two weeks ago, It was the continuation of what happened with me and Joe. He contacted again, but i wasn't over the moon. We started seeing each other again. He told me he was busy with things that's why he didn't contact me for two months. He had his reasons and it adds up. He was moving houses, and he moved back to his mother's house not far from where i live. When we had coffee together i tested out my heart and i didn't feel something as strong as when i was in the other city with him 2 weeks ago. Maybe i have let him go and move on a little. But deep inside I still like him, he doesn't posses beauty but he has a nice heart, smart, and have a nice smile. Those three are enough for me. But considering our big age differences, we need to work out a lot of things if we actually moving forward together.

he acted like he was really into me when we parted ways after coffee, but i didn't want him to touch me. he stood me up on the day before our meeting. our first meeting after our holiday together was sour. I acted up  a little bit towards him. I teased him a lot and asked a lot of bitter questions and i guess he sorta pass the test. He told me that he hasn't seen anyone else. I bought it. He hasn't been active in Site#F and Site#M for more than 2 months. He also told me that The last time he kissed someone was me, and The last time he had sex with someone was me. We didn't have good sex when we were in holiday. It was lousy. but It was more emotional that our regular sex. After we parted ways, he called me but i didn't hear. I sent him a text "Hey, did you call me last night? what's up? Was it intentional or accidental?" then he replied:"I was gonna call you and wish you good night, have a nice day bub." It was sweet. then he called me a few times, he wanted me to go with him somewhere but i couldn't. i still acted a little bit bitter towards him.

I was with my family during that week, and I felt like i need to get away from them and I was busy nevertheless. I realized that i miss him. I was just walking down from kings cross to the city. I could've taken William st. but i didn't i took darlinghurst rd then liverpool st. at the end of liverpool st, while listening to my ipod at the loudest setting, I heard somebody called my name. I looked around and it was Joe. I didn't expect it at all, it was the weirdest encounter ever.

I met him again the day after that, he wanted me to help him out to re-arrange his room in his mother's house. So i agreed, he picked me up and i helped him re-organized his room, It's a little shack in the garden, outside the house. We had a great time that day, he also took me to his workplace to dry some clothes. We fooled around a bit but I didn't want to have sex with him just yet.

After that day, communication has been great. He was out of town that weekend and we updated each other. I invited him to stay over one night and he agreed. he brought me dinner and i bought wine from his favorite region. It was a great night. that tuesday night. I couldn't sleep well because he snores but i felt secured nevertheless. We woke up really early in the morning. and had coffee before he off to work.

He slept-over again last saturday. and i felt great and more intimate, and I did have a good night sleep.

Now as i write these post, i realized that i really like him now. but now it's just the matter of he tells me what he wants. I hope we want the same thing and it will be the beginning of something wonderful together. or maybe this bill be just become a bittersweet lesson for me.

I have some baggages and he does too. I am not out to my family. He always tells me to come out but i don't think i'm ready just yet.

After spending the night together last saturday, we haven't been in touch since then. I sent him messages but he didn't reply back.

To be honest, i still see another guy or two but it's because we're not anything yet. I don't feel guilty about it even though i like him a lot. Does he feel jealous about it. I checked my Site#F profile today and he messaged me, i was in shock because he hasn't been online for months. "mmm.. online xox". he said. Does he got jealous and not replying me or he was just busy and i'm worrying too much..

Oh well. another day another drama,

XOX
WL