Valentine's Day

I never really celebrated valentine's day. For me, valentine's day just another day after another. Never really get the whole idea of it, fair enough there's a day for someone to celebrate the day with full on affection but not me. Although the idea of getting and giving chocolates to another single friends are the only thing that i associate myself to Valentine's day. This year is a little different, I usually forgot about valentine's day or didn't really care much about it but I had dinner plans with Oliver on Monday night, and It just happened on Valentine's day. We agreed on one thing, just being friends and that's the basic ground rule, He has problems with commitment, and I'm not ready to actually have another relationship or another drama in my life as it isn't my priority for me, Finding Love. We both adore each other, and like each other but Is taking our what so-called friendship to another level is worth taking the trip, not so sure about it. It's too early to tell.

The day before, We spent enough time together until we were both a little bored of each other, and I actually felt it. We spent the whole weekend and my body was exhausted from all the physical activities that we did for the whole 3 days. I accompanied him shopping, he started work on Valentine's day. We teased each other about the thing that turns us on the most. He doesn't really care about whether it's a girl or a guy but he always have a soft spot for a bigger asian guy like me. He told me, on the bed that his all time idol is Masi Oka from heroes, the tv series. He's a smart guy and very talented. Another idol/crush is Shindong, a cute and chubby Korean superstar. I told him about my all time crush, it's George Clooney, Anderson Cooper and Dr.Andrew Rochford. They're all has gray/salt and pepper hair. I have soft spot for them. He told me that he would dye his hair gray because he thinks that it's cool. I'm ecstatic :). I told him that I'm a big asian guy and when he's gonna dye his hair gray, that means we could fulfill each others fantasy.  Sound like a pretty good deal for both of us, and He just smiled. We were out and about the city from the morning till late afternoon. He told me that he needed his space after days i spent with him and I agreed. Before we parted, I asked him whether it was alright to give him chocolate on Valentine's day, and he said he loves chocolate. but I made sure that it was my way to say thank you for the incredible weekend, not expressing my feelings. We parted ways after and rest. It was really exhausting day for both of us, and He needed his full energy for his first day.

On Valentine's day, I texted him. I wanted to give him a chocolate and have dinner with him. He wanted pizza so i took him to my favorite place at kings cross. It was kinda romantic, alfresco, and good ambiance. We talked about relationship and sex most of the time. He loved the chocolate that i gave him, he told me that he would open them in about a week or two, just to get hold on the feelings. I was smiling, at least he loved the chocolate, as my way to say thank you. I know if i actually surprised him with the chocolate, I would had freaked him out. that was why i gave him a warning.
The dinner was sorta getting know him better and getting to know what he wants from me and vice versa. He doesn't want any relationship and he doesn't date people, so I guess i have to respect that. I only play safe this time, The thing that happened with the guy that I was seeing, Mr.Big was still a little traumatic for me. and I realized that both of us are still young and We couldn't be tied down to one and another. It's an arrangement, and I wanted him to be my friend. He's a good guy, and I'm definitely wouldn't be embarrassed to introduce him to everyone to my friends. I like our arrangement for now, and maybe it will stay that way, never know what's going to happen, but I don't want dramas, and being in love is not my priority now. I have to love myself first before i start to fall for somebody. that's a golden rule. He also told me that He might be heartless but he still has his soul. He loves intimacy but he hates affection. oh well, Now i know what's he is like now. I like him more, it seems like our arrangement is perfect.

I gave him a big hug when we parted on the train, We looked into each others eye deeply, and some part of me wanted to hug him a little longer but I only have 3 seconds to got out of the train. I know that I'm gonna see him again sometime that week and He's not going anywhere for sure.

I went to the city after dinner, I surprised my best friend to deliver a valentine's day chocolate to her. I think she's my true Valentine. I love her since the first day i met her and our love even though it's only platonic but I think it's real. She was in shock, because someone knocked at her door at 11pm at night and she thought that she wouldn't get any chocolate as he partner is overseas. I gave her her chocolate and gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

That was my valentine's day this year. at least i know that i'm single and happy, and my friends are my true love.

WL