Monday, February 21, 2011

Saturday Wait, Sunday always comes too late.

Saturday afternoon, I took Oliver to my favorite Thai restaurant it's just a walking distance from his Hotel. We were both starving. We did it twice, at night and the afternoon. It was really nice. I missed the feeling of spending that much time together with a person. It all seemed to be very special for both of us. We talked a lot about a lot of things, and finding the similarities and differences between us. We dig deeper, and we discover about each other even more. I grew to like him more because simply he's a really nice person and He's very bright. I think he's the most intelligent guy that I've ever been on a date with. We listen to similar kind of music, and we have a pretty solid idea of what we want. He showed me the whole different perspective of being friends with benefit. It's the full package, the intimacy, not just fuck and go, something that i always used to do not long ago. I got very tired of it.

He told me that he's not a relationship type of guy, he gets freaked out whenever someone is in love with him and show him how he or she truly feels towards him. I'm not surprised, I think it's easy to actually fall in love with him. He's an incredible guy and truly one of a kind. He has the face of an angel, the brain of a super computer, and the charm of a handsome prince. He has got his heart broken once over a guy that he fooled around with and I think it's truly a traumatic experience for him too, He closed his heart some years ago. He doesn't want to date anyone or in a relationship with everyone. Fear of commitment, that's what he said.

What he said, was all coming back to me. What do i want? what am i looking for? I asked myself couple months ago and i was clueless. I was in a sort of relationship with a guy and it was all very new to me. He didn't reply back my feelings and I got my heartbroken. I was blind, that's for sure. I haven't got to straight up my priorities and blinded with some stupid feelings. I was heartless, and soulless and I changed overnight to become a young thing who is eager to take the risk. I didn't regret it all, but just wondering was it all worth it. I wasn't doing very well at school because of my anxiety and depression. It shouldn't be an excuse to get away from my priorities. I want the old me back, the driven full of ambition me who is full of dreams and ability to realize it all. I want it all, I think if love is something that i have to sacrifice, I think it's all gonna be worth it. True love waits that's what everyone said. I was clueless and now I'm sure that Love is not for me at the moment. I should focus on reaching my goals. and He reminded me of it, it took another person to open up my eye. I saw things but I didn't open my eyes.

After lunch we parted ways, It was an incredible 21 hours. I like the feelings, it was lingering, and natural. I was myself, and I didn't pretend to be somebody that i wasn't. We hugged and I went home.

At home, i started to think that was all of this real? I pinched myself and It was. It was real. I got excited, I have a new friend who share the same passion with. I know that we can't be together, that's for sure but another that i know that he's not going anywhere. He will be around, and I think whatever happens between us I always want him to be my friend. I was tired, but i wanted to see him again. So i took a little rest and asking him out again at night.

I made my way to the city and saw him again. We had a drink with my best friend at a rooftop bar. We were a little tired, but I decided to spend the night with him again. I like to hug his small frame body when i'm sleeping. I think it's the most comfortable position ever. I just love the feeling. It feels secure. We did it again before going to bed, It was more passionate than i remember the last time that morning.

I woke up in the morning, it was quite early. I put something on my facebook status, it clearly described how i felt "Hmm this is nice, and it's different than good. You are a nice person! :) I'm afraid the day would end fast, but this is just the beginning. Good morning!" He woke up next to me and smiling, he gave me a little kiss. I was in a state of bliss, it doesn't get any better than this. 

*to be continued


At February 23, 2011 at 11:42 PM , Anonymous cassius forrest said...



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