Monday, May 16, 2011

Tonight let's be lover, tomorrow go back being friends

I love the way you hold me tight. the smell of your body, the way you smile at me. Yesterday you’re my friend. Today, tonight, let’s be lovers. Tomorrow, we go back being friends. It’s convenient. You are convenient. You are here, you're not going anywhere. I like you just the way you are. But you don’t like me as much now. You used to like me more than i like you. In fact, we were infatuated with one another. It was the most beautiful moment i've ever felt. We were lovers, then we were friends, then we were lovers again, and now we are just friends. 
why we won’t take the chances of us being together. I’m scared of getting hurt, but you are so assured that taking it isn’t worth it. I like you a lot, but i can’t be with you. You are so smart, and i can’t keep up with you. I know you very well, you are fragile inside behind your strong exterior. You need to be loved, but you can't love. You rely on me sometimes but I can't rely on you. I couldn't trust you just yet. 
You won’t take the chances because you just simply dont want it. you don’t want me anymore. It’s fine, at least i’ve got a friend in you, and it’s beautiful. friendship lasts longer than love, and i love you in sort of way. 
I’m confused, but if you told me and reassured me that we are gona be together, i would take it but then again i’ll get freaked out and quit or you would hurt me so bad then i wouldn’t think of you as the same again. I might hate you, so i’d rather accept the fact that we just won’t be together. 
You are physically attractive. you have a face of an angel. Why do i like you so much? It's not your angelic face that makes my heart beats faster for you.. You adored me once and it’s stopped. I adore you. The first time i met you i thought you are quite charming and i would be friends with you and not to sleep with you. But you made a move on me, you didn’t regret it but you now think twice to touch me. Why is so? Are you so afraid of things or you just don’t like me anymore? I like you just the way you are. We crossed the boundaries of just being friends, but we still have our limit. What’s my limit? being hurt it is. I can’t be with you for sure if i know that you’re going to hurt me bad. You wouldn’t be with me because you found me less appealing than your future conquest. Go and find another man, woman. I don't care. I want you to be happy with or without me. No it wouldn't hurt me, it's enough just to see you smile and look at me in the eye and assure me that you are happy with someone ele. 
You made it clear and I should respect it, there’s no point of me writing this and thinking about it, it’s all bullshit. I’m not going to wait til you change your mind, because i know you wont. You can fuck other people and see other people and that’s fine, it wouldn’t hurt me. I just wish that it would hurt yourself and come back to me in my arms. but that’s not possible, you have made your mind. I like you, but I respect your decision. I have to close up my heart for you and be back to just being friends. I’m not mad at you, just mad at myself why would i be in this situation. Why it can’t be just so easy? I don’t regret meeting you, you made my summer. You gave me the energy again, the spirit of youth that i missed. But talk realistically, let’s just be friends and never go back being lovers. It’s too much for me and I’m afraid i will love you deeply and there’s no turning back. 


At May 17, 2011 at 9:33 PM , Blogger the immigayrant said...

I like this writing. It flows! ^_^


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